


First Knight

by rufferto



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Danger, Drama, Jealous Arthur Pendragon, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-11 07:42:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4427021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rufferto/pseuds/rufferto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finally the actual real summary:<br/>This story takes place when Lancelot the shade raised by Morgana returns to Camelot. Take Merlin or Gwen from Arthur whoever he loved most.  She also gave him a potion to give Arthur so that he would be driven mad with jealousy and it would make it clear who he truly loved, Gwen or Merlin.  Merlin noticed the change in Arthur and figured out Lancelot was a slave to a spell so he left with Lancelot to try and help his friend. He knew that the jealousy potion would wear off.  Leon sent Gwaine and Percival after Merlin to protect him because he knew something was wrong and the potion had revealed Arthur's heart.  Gwaine is in love with Percival but Percival just thinks he wants to put another notch in his belt.  Merlin's plan is to make the journey last as long as possible so that he can figure out how to break the spell over Lancelot.  The story starts in the middle of the situation when Merlin leaves with Lancelot and goes from there.<br/>Don't own Merlin (BBC) not making any money</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Gwen is not engaged to Arthur at the time.

Arthur smashed his fist into the nearest wall and his knuckles bled from the effort. How he’d come back from the dead, he would never really know. He just had and it appeared that instead of Gwen, Lancelot had come back for Merlin because it was already the worst kept secret in Camelot that the King was in love with his Manservant. 

_Lancelot was back._

Watching him with Merlin was eating Arthur up inside. It was like a blow to the gut because of course Lancelot had to be Merlin’s first love and Arthur was... Arthur was a convenient way to forget and he knew Merlin wasn’t serious about him because of the stupid crown. The stupid crown that he had to marry a woman for to get an heir since his life was never his own.

Arthur was certain Merlin loved Lancelot. How could he not? Lancelot was attainable, handsome and one of Arthur's best Knights. He knew it was true and he knew that Merlin was with Lancelot right now. Merlin hadn’t come to his bed since the day Lancelot returned. It hurt and he hated it. 

Arthur sat down heavily in his chair and just closed his eyes as he attempted to bury the pain. He’d never directly asked about Lancelot and Merlin hadn’t told him. He just ... He knew it. Merlin had never once confessed any feelings and didn’t know the deep hole that would be in his heart if Merlin stopped their ... involvement.

Merlin would choose Lancelot. He knew it in his heart. He knew it in his soul and he half wanted to either drink himself to death or fling himself off of the nearest tower. Arthur sighed miserably, he hadn’t realized until that damned Knight showed up again just how much of his heart was invested.

He kept picturing them together, Lancelot touching Merlin’s cheek, sucking his lip.

He’d be damned if he was going to let that happen. Lancelot was NOT going to take Merlin. Arthur jumped to his feet and stalked his door to open it with a determined fling... Just as Merlin was about to enter, he looked at the King with a confused expression.

Arthur grabbed Merlin’s neckerchief and yanked him inside, shut the door, locked it and threw aside whatever Merlin was carrying. “I’ll do anything.” He rested his hands on either side of Merlin’s head, effectively pinning him against the door. “Anything you want. Change any law. Just don’t ...”

He leaned forward and captured Merlin’s lips. If it was the last time he was going to get a kiss from him than he was going to make the most of it. He attacked Merlin’s lips with a hunger he couldn’t describe let alone control. And Merlin responded just as desperately until he pressed his hands on Arthur’s chest and pushed him away.

“Arthur...” Merlin stared at Arthur softly. How could he tell him? He had to get Lancelot away from Camelot, away from their friends. Lancelot was enchanted, dangerous. He’d been able to do that by promising Lancelot that he could have him instead and the Knight had agreed because one of the things Morgana said: Take Gwen or Merlin, it will destroy Arthur.  

“No.” Arthur shook his head when he saw the look in Merlin’s eyes and the fact that he had his travel clothing on. “Don’t leave. Not with him.” He fell to his knees and held on to Merlin, head buried into his stomach. “Don’t leave me. Anything, Merlin...”

Merlin stroked Arthur’s hair gently. He truly hadn’t expected such a heartfelt reaction. Their dalliance for the past couple of years since Lance’s death had been just that, or so he’d thought. Clearly not. Merlin had kept all of his feelings buried deep inside because Arthur was the only man he’d ever truly loved and he knew that one day he’d get hurt so he hadn’t confessed any of those feelings. He’d thought he’d done a good job of convincing Arthur they were just taking advantage of the manservant situation. “I have to, Arthur. I have to get him away from Camelot.”

“Will you be back?” Arthur sniffled and refused to let him go.

“I don’t know.” Merlin admitted truthfully, he didn’t know if he would be able to remove the spell or what would happen to him.

Arthur finally, thankfully surged to his feet and let go. He wiped away the tears and tried to look regal and intimidating but he’d just begged his manservant not to leave him... while on his knees. “I can’t do this without you, Merlin.”

“You can. You’re a good King, Arthur and Camelot needs you.” Merlin smiled at him fighting to keep his own emotions in check. Damn Morgana. He hated her more now than ever. She’d forced him to leave Arthur’s side. It was just what she wanted but what she didn’t know was that Merlin could help Arthur from afar if he had to.

“Where will you go?” Arthur asked softly, finally accepting that there was nothing he could do to change Merlin’s mind. He sat heavily in his chair and looked lost. Merlin’s heart ached.

“We’ll go to Ealdor first and probably to Lancelot’s home.” Merlin didn’t really know where he was going to take Lancelot to try and remove the spell and send him back to Avalon.

The knife in Arthur’s gut twisted again.

“Please don’t do anything rash!” Merlin knew he had no right to ask but he had to try. “This might not be forever, Arthur. I want to think about you here, my golden king who will one day marry Gwen and preside over years of peace.”

Arthur’s lip trembled. _This might not be forever_. He had to cling to that hope and he’d already debased himself by begging once before that night so he didn’t mind throwing this last wrench into Merlin’s plans. “I love you, why do I have to marry someone else?”

Merlin’s mouth fell open for that was not what he was expecting to hear. He closed it and squared his shoulders. “I’m sorry,” He turned then, swallowed nervously. If he came back, he would fix this. Fix Arthur. _I love you too_. He mouthed brokenly at the door. He was sure Arthur would never hear those words.

And he was gone.

Arthur swung his hand over his table and all the contents clattered to the floor. He took a dagger and started ripping things apart and smashing whatever he could find. Everything in this room reminded him of Merlin and Merlin had _left_ him.

For Lancelot.

He took a bottle of the finest brandy that was stored in his room and poured a healthy amount of it in his mouth. It didn’t help. He cried out like a wounded animal. The guards at his door were shocked but he bellowed at them to leave him be.

Merlin left him.

He looked at the window and heard hooves on the cobblestone below. He rushed to the window and held the sides of it as he searched desperately.

Lancelot and Merlin were on their horses. Lancelot had a determined expression and was simply moving forward.

“ _MER_ lin!” Arthur called from his window, he didn’t care who heard him.

Lancelot noticed that and glanced up to fix Arthur a stony glare. Arthur glared right back at him. He turned away and kept his horse moving. “Come on, Merlin.” He said sharply.

“MERLIN!” Arthur called again.

Merlin couldn’t tear his eyes from the window and Arthur. It might be the last time he ever saw him. He lifted his hands to his lips, kissed them once and waved. “Good-bye, Arthur.” He whispered softly and turned away, fighting tears.

Arthur watched them leave and the destruction continued. It wasn’t until Leon and Percy barged into his room (He’d locked it) and had to practically tie him down to get him to stop and calm. They knew they had witnessed something the King would never allow anyone else to see.

His tears.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Jealousy spell and a cursed Lancelot has taken the one thing from Camelot that Arthur cannot live without.

It took a few days for the effects to wear off and Arthur woke up feeling that his throat was hoarse and his eyes raw. The room blearily came into focus and he rubbed his face. His tongue felt like sandpaper and there was just something _completely wrong._

“Sire?” Leon’s voice. “Are you awake?”

Clarity regained, mostly, Arthur sat up and stared at the disaster that was his room. It looked like a hurricane had gone through it. “What the hell happened? _MER_ LIN!” He tried bellowing except his voice was too hoarse to make it more than just a pathetic squawk.

“You’ve been under the effects of a powerful spell, sire.” Leon said patiently. “It’s only just now wearing off. This is the first time you haven’t thrown anything at me when you woke up. I’m taking it as a good sign. How do you feel?”

Another damn spell, Arthur groaned and rubbed his face again. “Eventually you’ll get to the part where you explain where Merlin is and why my room looks like this.”

“Grief.” Leon “Merlin is not in Camelot, my lord. He left with Lancelot a week ago.”

Arthur let those words process in his mind and he tried conjuring images in his head but his brain was fuzzy and disoriented. A vision of Merlin waving to him made his chest tighten. “Merlin left with Lancelot.” Something just didn’t feel right. “What sort of spell?”

“You were consumed by jealousy and irrational behavior, Sire. We even saw your eyes go green at one point. It was eating you alive. Merlin tried to give you space but that only made it worse. We managed to figure out that rather than putting your life at risk by letting you fight Lancelot while in that state it was best to let him go. So that he'd be away from you. So, Merlin went with him. I don’t think he wanted to.” Leon shrugged. “But Lancelot wasn’t acting at all like himself. Gaius told us that the spell wouldn’t wear off unless Merlin put distance between you. The rest of us are fairly sure that he was just trying to protect you.”

Arthur pulled himself to his feet and just gazed around the room unhappily. “The spell used my feelings against me and forced Merlin to leave to protect us from what I might do.” He heaved a sigh.

“Yes, Sire.” Leon looked him over. “It amplified any jealous thoughts deep in your heart and if it had been allowed to continue the effects would have just kept growing.”

“Merlin avoided me at night because I might have hurt him since my mind was focused on imagining things that weren’t really happening, didn’t he?” It was all starting to become clear now. Arthur grunted. He didn’t want to ask how everyone seemed to know and accept his feelings for Merlin, he’d deal with that later. “And Lancelot?”

“We think he is also under a spell from Morgana.” Leon confirmed his suspicions. “We’re not a 100% sure.”

“So Merlin left Camelot ALONE with a man probably under a spell by that evil witch?” Arthur’s eyes widened. He shook his head in disbelief, ridding it of the cobwebs that had cluttered his mind since then.

“He’s not alone, sire.” Leon looked indignant. “When we realized what had to be done and that Merlin would go even if he didn't want to, Gwaine and Percival agreed to track them. He could have at least talked to us but he didn’t. Merlin has a tendency to shoulder everything on his own, very disconcerting. It was my job to deal with you until you were yourself again and ...”

“Get someone to get my horse ready.” Arthur growled. “We’re going after them.”

“...wanted to go after them.” Leon finished his thought and smiled in relief. Arthur was himself again. Thank the gods.

***

They rode farther and farther away from Camelot with little to say between them. Lancelot was cold for the most part and yet triumphant because HE had won Merlin. It was so different from their previous encounters and it near broke his heart. His mind traveled to his King. Arthur would be getting better now that he was gone. It was all worth it. If he hadn’t left, Arthur would have done something he regretted, Arthur would have become violent.

“You’re very quiet.” Lancelot observed. “We used to talk so let’s talk.” He slowed down the pace of his horse so that they rode side by side.

“I don’t know what to say to you.” Merlin answered honestly. Thankfully, Lancelot hadn’t touched him. There was nothing. It was almost as if he had no desires at all and Merlin was well aware that was not the case for they had done... some things... in the past long before he’d known how Arthur felt. Lancelot rarely slept too and always kept watch on him.

“You haven’t even asked where we’re going.” Lancelot pointed out. It was true, he hadn’t.

“Does it matter?” Merlin asked flatly. He had brought several books with him to look through but with Lancelot not sleeping it was hard to find time to figure out how to separate the spell from him.

“I’m taking you to a place I know.” Lancelot told him. “It’s mostly a ruin but it’s by a lake and it’s peaceful and quiet. No one for many leagues, I grew up there.” He reached over to touch Merlin’s shoulder and almost looked sad when the young wizard flinched away. “Everything is ready for us there.”

“Don’t touch me.” Merlin snapped.

Lancelot drew out his sword and leveled it at Merlin’s throat. He flicked the blade and ripped at the neckerchief until it fell from Merlin’s neck. He looked satisfied when Merlin didn’t try and hurt him. “You won’t hurt me. Why should I fear to touch you? You still think you can save me.” He sheathed his sword. “You think you can break the spell, don’t you?”

The ruined neckerchief lay in the mud on the side of the road. “I will save you.” Merlin declared softly.

“You know what I’m going to do to you to sever your link with Arthur and you don’t run.” Lancelot looked incredulously at him.

“I know.” Merlin nodded. He had plenty of time between now and then to find a way to stop this. “But I believe you will fight the magic Morgana has cursed you with.” He hoped somewhere within his Lancelot would emerge, the bravest and most noble of us all instead of this shell. “And you’re just assuming I will let you.” He shrugged calmly.

“Believe me, Merlin, you will.” Lancelot chuckled darkly and an involuntary shiver went up Merlin’s spine. His eyes glinted as he looked back to the road ahead. “I suggest you resign yourself to it. You are now mine, after all. It’s going to happen. You’re right about Morgana, though. She will be there to perform the ceremony. She is, after all, a Priestess and I’m sure she will be very interested to find out about your magic.”

 _Not yours_. Merlin wanted to shout but he knew better than to rile up Lancelot in his current state. It’s not that he couldn’t subdue the man if he needed to he just didn’t want to have to hurt him. Unbidden Arthur’s face rises to his mind, his anguished expression when Merlin had to leave that night. He had been so far gone he had actually begged. The spell had taken root in Arthur’s brain and eventually Merlin and Gaius had figured out that he had to be away from Arthur for it to break and he had to make Arthur believe he was truly leaving. It had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. The real Lancelot would never be acting like this. At least out here he could use his magic without worrying about people watching.

Morgana was waiting for them? He hadn’t planned on that. That didn’t give him as much time as he’d hoped. If Lancelot told Morgana about his magic he would lose the advantage he had over her! He was going to have to do something to delay their arrival. He needed more time. So he did the only thing he could think of. They were traveling down a path with a ravine nearby, it was the perfect opportunity.

He tossed a spell out which caused his horse to rear and buck him off. Before Lancelot could maneuver, the sudden action of Merlin’s horse caused a similar reaction to Lancelot’s. Merlin’s sent him flying and toppling over the side of the ravine but Lancelot was able to gain control of his.

“Merlin!” Lancelot called frantically.

Merlin tumbled and hit branches and rocks on the way down feeling a little like a rag doll and they tore at his clothing. Once he gathered his wits he spoke a spell swiftly and he was suspended in midair. He was not, however, fast enough to avoid a crossbow-bolt to his shoulder which effectively pinned him against the nearest tree.

“Nice Try.” Lancelot muttered from the top of the ravine.

It was...actually. Merlin had to smile. He’d caused a delay of sorts. Now he would just have to use his magic to get free. “Ugh...” he grunted and the arrow began to move out of his shoulder on his own. Gods it hurt. He slid down the tree to the base of it and groaned in pain. The arrow clattered down.

“Don’t bother.” Lancelot started to climb carefully down the edge of the ravine. “It’s a slow acting poison. I had a feeling you might try and run. Don’t worry though.” He grinned wolfishly and crouched next to Merlin. “Once Morgana marries us, I’ll give you the antidote.” He eyed the wound that had been inflicted by the crossbow bolt. “This will slow us down a bit but we’ll still get there.” He poked at it mercilessly and Merlin cringed in pain.

“Please stop this. Please fight it.” Merlin begged the man who was once his friend. “Look inside, Lancelot, you could never do this. Please.”

***

“Did you hear that?” Gwaine reined his horse.

“Yeah” Percival nodded, chewing the inside of his cheek. “I think it came from up there.” He pointed up the slope of a hilly pass.

“Remember we can’t get too close, we don’t want to alert Lancelot to our presence.” Gwaine sniffed impatiently. There was nothing he wanted more to do than haul Merlin back to Camelot but Gaius was adamant. They had to keep their distance for now. Powerful magic was involved and headstrong Knights rushing into things without thinking was only going to make it worse.

“Take Percival with you and don’t do anything stupid.” Gaius had informed him loftily. “Not unless you have to. Whatever happens, don’t let Morgana have Merlin.”

Gwaine had no intention of EVER letting that happen.

TBC

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arthur was affected by a jealousy spell from Morgana. Merlin had to leave to break it and make sure that Arthur was convinced he was leaving for good. Spells are weird sometimes.  
> Lancelot is under a curse from Morgana. He's not Lancelot but Merlin knows somewhere inside he's there and wants to save him or kill him if he has to.  
> Gwaine and Percival are there so... don't worry... it really is Merthur, I promise.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I'd forgot that Shade Lancelot didn't remember about Merlin's magic and had to throw in a quickie explanation. When I referred to Merlin once loving Lancelot I meant it as his truest friend. Arthur doesn't believe that though. When I first created the story I really wasn't sure where it was going. Now I know. So there might be a few inconsistencies. I will go over and fix them later.

Lancelot was a shade, and Merlin knew that. He knew that he could kill him at any moment and rid himself of the shade but he held out hope that maybe there was a way he could get both. The removal of the shade and his friend back, he didn’t have much time and now he was wounded. Gaius did not agree that he could save Lancelot’s soul but he did and he would try. Killing Lancelot... would only be a last resort. The shade started to remember things and he couldn’t let them reach Morgana without resolving this situation first. Like, he remembered Merlin had magic but not that Merlin was Emrys. That was only a matter of time.

Merlin sighed and rested against the tree. “She’s clearly controlling you, Lancelot.” He said weakly.

Lancelot didn’t seem to hear him and continued to peer at the wound.   “I’m going to need to get these off to get to your wound and clean it. Not like you can do much about it now, so stop fidgeting. I’m not going to ravish you in the woods.” His eyes gleamed “Not that it wouldn’t be pleasant, but I really would rather we were married first.”

That was not going to happen ever but at least the man did still have some kind of code left. “Get on with it.” Merlin snapped weakly.

Lancelot’s blood stained fingers stroked his cheekbone gently but his eyes were hollow. “Shush.” He ordered softly. “You’ll just make it worse.” He pulled away the jacket and lifted up Merlin’s shirt, and smiled. “Arthur has had you, hasn’t he? I can see the evidence. No point in denying it. He’s just been using you.” Lancelot’s fingers gently brushed a healing bruise from where Arthur had bit him in a moment of passion. He worked quickly to clean and dress the wound. It hurt painfully but Merlin looked away.

Merlin couldn’t bear to see the hollow expression in Lancelot’s eyes for he had been the truest friend Merlin ever had and this was not him. It made him want to cry. He was just a shade of himself and Merlin hadn’t even had time to properly research a counter. Gaius had huffed and said there was no way to do it, a life for a life. That’s how it was done. That was the price of magic. But this wasn’t really like that. Lancelot’s body was alive, his soul was somewhere else and Merlin wanted to see if he could actually bring Lancelot back and toss out the shade from the body. But now he might be screwed. He could already feel the poison working through his system.

“Why haven’t you told him you have magic?” Lancelot began to set a fire. “You’ll need to rest before we climb back up and continue on our journey.”

This was the first time they’d stopped moving since leaving Camelot and it was giving him time to think, if only Lancelot would be quiet and maybe he could sneakily read the book he brought. “Too many people have betrayed him.” Merlin muttered. “He’ll hate me.”

“He loves you.” Lancelot pointed out. “I’ve always known it.”

“He doesn’t.” Merlin shrugged. He’d carefully kept his heart controlled around Arthur because deep down in spite of how wonderful intimacy with him was. He knew that he would otherwise get very hurt.

“That’s wrong and you know it.” Lancelot said icily. “It doesn’t matter, though. All that matters is that now you’re mine. You chose me and he knows that.” His hand suddenly snaked up to wrap around Merlin’s throat. His eyes changed from hollow to something else and Merlin struggled under his touch. Lancelot considered the young wizard and smiled. “What’s the harm in a kiss?” He crushed his lips against Merlin’s. Merlin yelped in surprise and Lance took the opportunity to swipe his tongue in between his lips.

Merlin was dizzy; only two people had ever kissed him. Freya and Arthur. Arthur’s kisses were demanding, all-consuming and filled with deep, undeniable passion. They tore his soul out and battered him until the act was done leaving him terribly bruised and emotionally ravaged. He lived for Arthur’s kisses more than he was willing to admit. He would never tell Arthur the true depth of his emotion because that would lead him open and bare and utterly helpless.

Lancelot’s kiss by comparison did not flow through his body. It did not tingle his whole being and make him feel like he’d been scorched by the sun. He’d never felt romantic in the slightest, they had only ever been great friends in spite of Arthur’s disbelief. Of course, even before the spell Arthur had always been jealous of his friendship with Lancelot. The kiss caused a physical reaction which surprised and confused him and it was the shade who broke the kiss, not him. “Hm,” Lancelot traced the bottom of Merlin’s lips. “I always knew kissing you would be worth it.” His eyes flickered back to a hollow look. “Get some rest, that wound will require it.” He trudged up the ravine to tether the horses and retrieve their packs and bedrolls.

When he came back, Merlin was still trying to process the kiss. There had been a flicker in Lancelot’s eyes before. A flicker of something, he was sure of it! He accepted his bedroll and blanket and turned over on his side because his shoulder hurt too much.

Lancelot settled back to take the first watch, “I’ll hunt us some food in the morning.”

Merlin’s body felt weird and he fretted about that kiss. He pulled out the book and angled his body so that Lancelot couldn’t see what he was doing. His cheeks felt flushed and he was overly warm. He had to remind himself that this was the shade, not actually Lancelot who had done that. And he didn’t like it, not one bit. He really didn’t. He flipped the pages of the book quietly as he tried not to attract the Knight’s attention.

He closed his eyes briefly and thought of the man he’d left back in Camelot. He would return, just as soon as he’d fixed his friend. He just hoped that Arthur would forgive him.

***

A hundred things were going through Arthur’s head at the moment but there wasn’t any way he could express them. His thoughts drifted back to the last time Merlin had let them kiss. To his chagrin it was always Merlin who controlled the relationship. He never let Arthur go too far with his emotions. There would always be a word or comment that threw him off balance. After the amazing sex, it was always amazing, all he wanted to do was worship Merlin’s body but Merlin never stayed long. Arthur always woke up without him. The first few times it happened he’d tried to order Merlin to be there in the morning but Merlin would always laugh at him and mention castle gossips. He would clean them up, turn his back and walk out. Arthur wanted more, had always wanted more but it was like hitting a damn brick wall. Merlin was very stubborn when he wanted to be and when it came to him and Arthur he made the rules and he drew the line that couldn’t be crossed.

Damn the rules. Arthur sighed. He was irrevocably in love and it was all Merlin’s fault. He had been in love for a long time and he longed to just hold Merlin in his arms and cuddle him close. He wanted to wake up with him. He wanted to run his fingers through Merlin’s soft hair while the sunlight from his window shone upon it.

When they found Merlin he was going to make some new rules and he was going to force the stubborn, halfwit to listen to him. He was through playing by Merlin’s stupid rules. Why does he make them so difficult?

Leon glanced over at Elyan and looked back at Arthur. It was interesting to watch the play of emotions across Arthur’s face when they were on the hunt for Merlin which ... has happened more than once. “Arthur, are you alright?”   He wondered gently.

“No.” Arthur admitted thinly. “But I’ll manage.”

Leon wished there was something he could do or say. Both he and Elyan already knew that Arthur was beating himself up inside no matter how brave a face he might put on. He’d seen their King’s face when he thought Merlin had died. He knew how much the boy meant to him.

***

Gwaine kicked the side of the tree. “Just let me kill him.” He ground out at Percival. They had both witnessed the kiss between Merlin and Lancelot. They had not witnessed any magic. “Tell me why we can’t just go in there and rescue Merlin.”

“Easy does it, tiger.” Percival soothed Gwaine’s shoulder gently. “I don’t actually think he wants to be rescued just now... look closer. He’s hiding it.”

They both peered through the bushes and noticed that Merlin was going through one of Gaius’ books and occasionally looking over his shoulder to make sure Lancelot wasn’t watching him.

“He’s been INJURED.” Gwaine said through his teeth. “Lancelot SHOT him.”

“Doesn’t that tell you something, Gwaine? Think...” Percival laughed softly. “With something other than your nether regions for a minute and remember that I’ve travelled with Lancelot a lot longer than any of you. And that,” He indicates the man on watch. “Isn’t him. I’m also pretty sure Merlin knows it.”

They were speaking a lot quieter now and Gwaine was less angry. Something about Percival’s huge hands just tended to sooth the beast in him. “So he’s out here to help him?”

“Or kill him.”

“Merlin? Kill something?” Gwaine laughed, “Merlin couldn’t hurt a fly.”

“You underestimate him. All of you do. Lancelot once told me he was the reason Arthur was still alive. He didn’t explain it but I believe him. There’s a lot more to Merlin than we know. So let’s hang back and be there when he really needs us. Ok? Besides, I think he secretly likes it when the knights of Camelot come to his rescue.” Percival’s face was intent with the need to make Gwaine understand. Gwaine was a hothead and acted far too impulsively for his own good. He didn’t want to find out if Lancelot was indeed better with a sword than Gwaine. The man he um, well, wouldn’t be happy about being dead. Really, not, not at all.

“Percival?” Gwaine said after a little while of Percival’s hand stroking his shoulder.

“Huh?” Percival blinked.

“I’m calm now. You’re still stroking.”

Percival’s hand jumped away and his face went beat red with embarrassment.

Gwaine smirked. “You’re adorable and I think we should explore this further when the time is right but for now. Scuse me, but I’m taking advantage of the moment.”

It was extremely difficult to catch Sir Percival off-guard given his height and bulk but Gwaine managed exactly that because he was crafty. He crowded the Knight’s personal space and grasped his chainmail. With a quick yank, he got Percival slightly off balance and within kissing range. Percy stared at him wide-eyed and Gwaine brought their lips together. At first, Percival had no idea what to do, so he just froze in place. When Gwaine nipped his lower lip he trembled and opened his mouth. That’s when Gwaine plunged in and gave Sir Percival his first kiss.... first experience with anyone actually wanting to touch him. Most people were too afraid of him.

Somehow, they were on the ground and Gwaine straddled his chest. “I wish we could do more, Percy. But that’s all the distraction we can afford.” He slid back and grinned. Success! Percival liked men. “And believe me I am very good at distractions.” He winked, picked himself up and offered his hand to his beloved giant. “I want to take my time with you when it’s right for both of us.”

Percival’s mouth was open and his chest heaved. His face was a mixture of surprise, confusion and desire. He snapped his mouth closed and hoped to god Gwaine wasn’t teasing him. He pulled himself up and rearranged his clothing. A certain part felt uncomfortably hard. He would have to take care of that on his own. “I’ll take the first watch.” Percival muttered.

Gwaine just laughed as if he knew exactly what was going on in the big man’s mind. He sauntered away but not before delivering a quick pat to his bum. “Patience,” God, climbing Percival was going to be the most amazing experience he had had in years. He was certain.

And it appeared that Percival most assuredly was a virgin with a capital V. Gwaine would be thinking about it until they got back to Camelot. Oh yes, Percival was going to be his. He’d long since given up trying to find a way into Merlin’s pants, after all. Arthur had cock-blocked him at every opportunity. Gwaine leaned back and placed his hands behind his head as he drifted to sleep. “Good night, Percival.” He whispered heavily in the sexiest tone he could manage.

“Shut up.” Percival muttered. “Go to sleep.”

***


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur's closing in.  
> Merlin demands Lancelot actually propose to him to stall their travel again.  
> Percival talks to Gwaine.

When Arthur spotted a splash of red on the ground he immediately called a halt and got off his horse and his heart pounded in his ears. When he saw the red neckerchief he knew they were on the right trail but he didn't want to know why it wasn't around Merlin's neck.

Leon glanced Elyan with a sigh as Arthur picked it up off the side of the road. It was torn. He fingered it gently and lifted it to his nose and could smell the scent that was uniquely Merlin.  He studied the tear, it had been caused by a dagger or sword. Why?  
  
He stood up, neckerchief in hand and tucked it under his belt. “Look for any signs of a campground.” He moved forward down the road. “A struggle perhaps?”  
  
“What gives you the idea there was a struggle, sire?” Elyan asked casually.  Arthur's back was to them but he could tell the hard edge to the King's tone.  
  
“It was torn from his neck.” Arthur turned around and his eyes flashed angrily. “He's never without one, haven't you noticed?” The King's voice wavered slightly and he turned away, unwilling to let his emotion show to his knights. He was more himself now after the effects of the spell had worn off. More in control and if there was one thing he absolutely hated it was feeling out of control and helpless.  
  
“I'm sure Lancelot wouldn't hurt him.” Elyan tried to offer comforting words but Arthur's back stiffened.  
  
Arthur turned to get back on his horse with a swift motion. “I don't know anymore, just keep your eyes peeled.” He clicked his horse onward and they moved. His stomach was in knots. Really, Merlin was a complete idiot trying to handle Lancelot on his own. He didn’t ever want to feel how the spell made him feel again. It was terrible, it churned fire in his brain and he became completely irrational. No wonder Merlin couldn’t deal with him, he’d gone with Lancelot to stop the spell from causing something worse to happen. At night he’d have dreams of.. Ugh... he didn’t want to think about those nightmares. He’d never acted on them. He’d had enough self control not to. Thank gods for that. If he had, he’d never forgive himself.

“Look!” Elyan pointed out some more signs of people trampling bushes. They followed the way down the ravine to come across the campsite.

Arthur’s eyes flicked around it and came across the arrow. He had gloves on when he picked it up to examine it. It had traces of Merlin’s red shirt. Merlin had been shot so that’s why they made camp. Who shot him? He straightened and frowned. Worry clear in his eyes.

“He’s been hurt.” He showed the arrow to Leon. “So Lancelot is capable of hurting the man he claims to love.” Arthur’s clenched his fist. “I don’t care if he’s under a spell. I’m going to kill him.”

Elyan and Leon knew that there was nothing they could say to placate Arthur. Not this time. There was only one person who could and they hoped he was still alive when they found him.

Leon cleared his throat. “Gwaine and Percival are close by. If Merlin is truly in physical danger they have orders to intervene.”

They left the camp and worked their way back to the trail.

***

Lancelot looked back at Merlin on his horse. The young man was looking woozy. “Don’t worry, the antidote will cure you.”

“Why do you want to marry me?” Merlin asked Lancelot suddenly. His neck was warm and he was sweating from the effects of the poison so they had to move slowly. He had read something in the book last night that if you question the person under a spell sometimes you can jog their true feelings. “I mean, when we met we were friendly but not that friendly. And you never even once indicated you liked men. Do you even know what to do?”

“I’m sure you’ll teach me.” Lancelot smirked back at him, the smirk turned into a sunny smile of adoration. “And I want us to be married because I love you, Merlin, that’s why.”

“That’s ridiculous. You don’t shoot someone with a poison arrow you’re in love with.” Merlin chided the Knight. “If that’s your way of proving you love me, it’s a funny way of doing it. I don’t think you love me at all.” He pretended to pout to see if that would get Lancelot’s attention. He knew it was a dangerous game he was playing but if the spell book was right it could work. “I think you think you’re in love with me because someone told you so.” He winced at the pain in his shoulder.

“Merlin, do you need to rest again?” Lancelot was immediately worried.

“Yes.” Merlin took the gift-horse that was offered instantly. “And I think you should prove it. I mean..” Merlin tried his best to look seductive. Arthur would often tell him he looked ridiculous when he tried but he was willing to try anything. “If I have to marry you I want to at least get a proposal.”

Lancelot checked ahead for any possible campsites and spotted one. It was the middle of the afternoon, there was plenty of sunlight left in the day but something boiled in his blood at the way Merlin was goading him. “You want a proposal?” The poison was slow-acting, he knew that they had a few days and Morgana was only two days away.

“Yes.” Merlin nodded vigorously. “And after a meal of my choice that you hunt for and flowers and everything....” Gwen had told him once that men liked women who simper and flutter their lashes but he sure as hell wasn’t going to do that he just simply gave Lancelot the most heated look he could possibly manage given the circumstances. He just needed more time.

Lancelot looked him up and down and his own horse pranced nervously. Merlin, of course, never had any clue about how gorgeous he was. Merlin was tall with long limbs. He was not graceful due to his lack of coordination but that just made him all the more intriguing. There were many parts of him Lancelot wanted to touch; his dark hair, his deliciously large ears, his very kissable lips and then there was those intense smoky blue eyes. Something deep inside made him surrender, a part of him that had already been pinned once before. It was a part of him that wanted to fight because he was no person’s slave. And only a slave would follow his master with a single-minded passion. It was Morgana who told him to take either Gwen or Merlin away from Arthur, bring them to her and marry them. He blinked in some confusion and shook his head as though to clear it. “Alright” He agreed.

He saw it! Merlin was absolutely dead sure that he did. A flicker of light had danced in Lancelot’s eyes. It gave him hope that his friend was somewhere there just beyond reach. The smile he gave him this time wasn’t forced.

***

“Isn’t it early for them to set up camp?” Percival wondered at Gwaine. “What’s Merlin up to this time?”

“Why don’t we ask him?” Gwaine cocked his head. “It looks like he’s sent Lancelot away to hunt, and he’s ...laying out a blanket?”

“You’re an idiot!” Percival cuffed him.

“Don’t start what you can’t finish.” Gwaine smirked. Cupping his hands together he ca-cawed to see if he could get Merlin’s attention.

“Gwaine!” Percival hissed.

Merlin looked up at the unnatural sound. That was no bird. He frowned again and shrugged. When it called a second time he got to his feet and headed over in the direction it came from. Gwaine waved from behind a tree.

“Gwaine! What are you doing here?!?” Merlin squawked in surprise.

“Waiting for the right moment to save your skinny butt from yourself?” Gwaine smiled cheekily. “Percival’s here too.”

Percival was indeed, and looked entirely displeased with Gwaine. “We’re supposed to not be letting you know.” He muttered.

“I have everything under control!” Merlin snapped irritably. “I don’t need saving, why do you all insist in treating me like I’m a damsel in distress! I’m a man, y’know.” He huffed.

Gwaine indicated his bound shoulder. “That doesn’t look like control, Merlin. Of course we know you’re a man. We also know you love Arthur and don’t even try and deny it, so what the hell?!?” He flailed a hand at the blanket.

“I think Lancelot is in there.” Merlin exhaled. “I see flickers from time to time and I’m trying to draw him out, make him fight. You guys being here isn’t helping.”

“I knew it!” Gwaine declared. “I told you, Percy.”

“It’s Percival, Gwaine.” Percival muttered. He hated the nickname; it made him feel like he was five years old again.

“Whatever.” Gwaine rolled his eyes at his giant ... soon to be lover ... “We’re not going away, we’re on orders. We’ll hang back.”

“NO. Go away. I need privacy for this.” Two spots of red appeared on Merlin’s cheeks as he flushed. “I don’t want you watching.”

“Sorry, we swore to Leon that we’d follow you, Merlin.” Percival shook his head. “We’ll be discreet.”

Merlin gave a frustrated sigh. “Don’t tell Arthur anything you see.” He looked resigned. “No matter how much he threatens you to. I’m not doing it because I want to, alright! I’m trying to help Lancelot. He won’t understand. Lancelot is my friend!”

“I think you underestimate him, Merlin but we won’t. I promise.” Gwaine put a gentle hand on Merlin’s shoulder. “We’ll stay farther back but you yell when you need us.”

“Fine!” Merlin rolled his eyes. Wonderful! He knew there was no getting rid of them now. He turned and stalked back to the camp. Knights of Camelot were a pain the damn ass.

Gwaine and Percival headed further away so that they wouldn’t be seen. “See, went better than I thought it would.”

“You’re recklessness is going to lead to your death, Gwaine.” Percival rested his hand on the back of Gwaine’s neck gently. “And I’m rather keen on the idea of you not dying.”

Gwaine’s body tingled at the touch and he forced himself to remain calm and cheerfully look for a place to hide out. He simply let Percival’s hand remain there. His long, thick fingers were casually threaded through his hair. “I don’t plan on dying that easy, Per _cival_.” Gwaine emphasized the last part of the name because he thought it was funny Percy rankled at the nickname.

“Gwaine...” Percival exhaled.

Gwaine looked up at him. “What?”

“Why does every time you say my name you make it sound like you’re asking me to kiss you?” Percival demanded. “It’s really not fair, and we really don’t have time for this.”

Gwaine’s lips curled into a cheek grin. “I’m under your skin now, I like that.” He’d won. It was just a matter of time now.

“Shut up and listen to me for once.” Percival sighed and released his neck. “I think you just see me as a unique challenge and I don’t want that. So please,” he took a long deep breath and tried to make his feelings on the matter clear. “I know what you’re like and I refuse to be another notch on your belt. So stop, OK? This ends, or we’re not friends anymore. Is that understood?” It was one of the hardest things he ever had to say but he needed Gwaine to understand before he got too invested and his heart broken.

Gwaine met his gaze with a long hard one of his own. He did understand and it hurt him more than he was going to admit. Percy thought all he wanted was a quick thing and that simply wasn’t true. His stomach churned and he felt almost physically ill. He didn’t want to show any signs of his heart being dashed to pieces so he simply shrugged. “Don’t worry about it.” He laughed and grinned in his way that hid any pain he felt. “I get it.” He turned away briefly and swallowed. His past was laughing at him now. The one man he believed he could truly love thought he was trash who would sleep with anything. He’d get over it. “I wonder if the spell on Arthur wore off.” He changed the subject efficiently.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lancelot Proposes.   
> Arthur is pissed off.

Merlin was nervous, he didn’t like the idea of Gwaine and Percival so close by and was a little bothered by the fact that Lancelot did not seem to have picked up on it. In fact, Lancelot was approaching this whole thing without a lot of free will. The fact that he was even willing to do what Merlin wanted was a good sign that somewhere inside he was fighting. He couldn’t have those two idiots interfering. It seemed like whenever he wanted to get something done one of the Knights made it impossible for him to openly use magic.

True to his word, Lancelot came back with a few dead flightless birds for their ‘meal’ which he proudly displayed to Merlin. Merlin tried hard to smile adoringly but most people knew how he felt about hunting. “I’m not skinning those, but I’ll cook them.” Lancelot did not mind doing it and while he did so, Merlin wondered. “Did you think more about what I said? Why you love me, I mean?”

“Merlin love just is. You feel it, in your gut.” Lancelot said softly. “It’s not about why you love a person but that you do. He looks like he’s gazing far away for a moment. “When you love someone that’s who you think of when the sun sets. You think of them when it rises in the morning. You think of them when the warmth of the sky hits your cheek or the cool water of a brook touches your skin. You live for their smile, even for that one last time. You want to lose themselves in their eyes and simply wait on the edge of forever until you can have them.” He works at skinning the birds, plucking and pulling feathers while Merlin gets the cooking fire going.

“And you think of me, all those times?” Merlin sounded a little incredulous. “I am not that good-looking, Lancelot. I think if you thought of me that much it might put you off your supper.”

“You’re wrong, Merlin. Did Arthur never tell you?” Lancelot sighed at the look on Merlin’s face. “Of course he didn’t, he wouldn’t want you to know, would he? He wouldn’t want you to know how easily he could lose you.”

“I’m not ...” Merlin shook his head. “I’m not pretty or gorgeous. I’m just plain old me. You guys are the gorgeous ones. I’m just lucky with men.” And a whole bunch of beautiful knights always around him. Really, it had not been easy until Arthur had finally surrendered.

“You think I’m handsome?” Lancelot smiled broadly and his eyes lit up.

“Don’t let it go to your head.” Merlin snorted. He poked and prodded the fire until it got to the right heat. “Where are my birds?” He eyed one of the pots from his traveling bag. It had a shiny handle and he lifted it up to get a better look at himself. Almost immediately he felt silly and regretted the action. He knew what he looked like and he was tall and gangly and his ears were too big, always had been.

“Coming, patience” Lancelot liked to do a job right, after all. No less than perfection was his standards. They sat in silence for a while until the birds were ready and Merlin took them. Their fingers touched and the Knight smiled and stole a kiss.

“Don’t do that.” Merlin got flustered too quickly. It was a chaste kiss and he knew it was silly to get worked up about it but gods... warn a guy! He stuck the birds on the fire and put a bit of distance between him and the knight. He was starting to think this was as bad idea but he really wasn’t going to go through with anything.

“How’s your shoulder?”

“Would be better if someone gave me the antidote,” Merlin muttered. At least Lancelot remembered he was in pain and that was something.

“I’m sorry, Merlin, but you were trying to get away and I wasn’t to let you.”

“I was not!” Merlin wasn’t lying either. He was actually trying to delay them and it worked better than he had hoped, like most of his plans. He was really not a very good strategist. It usually amounted to whatever sounds like a good idea at the time. The birds cooked nicely over the fire and he laid out the mugs and bowls on a makeshift table, a stone that was flatter than the rest.

Lancelot was washing up and getting rid of the skins while he did all of this. When the Knight returned he had wildflowers and offered them with a flourishing bow to Merlin. Merlin tried hard not to flush...and failed.

“They’re uh...lovely, thanks. Let’s eat!”

As they ate, Merlin prodded Lancelot a bit. “What do you remember about when we rescued Gwen? I love that story, you were so brave.” He ate some of the delicious meat while watching Lancelot carefully.

Lancelot went into an abbreviated version of the story obviously something concocted by Morgana until he frowned. “No, I don’t think that’s how it went...”

“Go on...” encouraged, Merlin leaned forward. He touched Lancelot’s fingers briefly. “Think hard.” He swallowed. If only the real Lancelot could punch through! The book had added a few common herb possibilities useful in restoring memories and he had put those into the meal. “What really happened? What did you see?”

Lancelot closed his eyes.

“No, open them.” Merlin whispered. Lancelot did as he was bid. “Fight it.”

“I saw...” Lancelot frowned and looked searchingly at Merlin. “I saw...” His eyes widened. “You, I really saw you for the first time. Ahhhh....” He cringed and held his head as a searing pain licked through him.

Merlin caught him. “I’ve got you. Remember it, Lancelot. Remember! Please, Please remember. I don’t want to have to kill you. I want you back. Please remember.” He cradled Lancelot in his arms and held him there while he seemed to be struggling against the pain.

***

Percival was thankful Gwaine kept to his usual banter and didn’t fall back to the random touches and getting too much in his face. He knew he would have to deal with it at some point but now was just not the right time. If you gave Gwaine an inch he’d take a mile and Percival just didn’t want to go there. Not yet and certainly not in the middle of the wilderness. This left them with very little to talk about and they took turns keeping watch over Merlin while the other made dinner or hunted.

The more he thought about Gwaine the more he knew he’d have to talk to the man eventually and admit his feelings. Gwaine had a way of getting right to the heart of the matter too quickly and it was annoyingly unsettling. Percival was the type of man who thought long and hard about any life changes he was about to make.

It certainly wasn’t that he didn’t like men. Far from it, it was simply that he always thought. Being a giant of a man people assumed he didn’t have much of a brain but that wasn’t true. He actually did like to read and he did know how to think strategically. People just never asked him about plans. They always looked to Leon, Arthur or hell even Merlin first. He was alright with that, he stuck out too much already and he hated being the center of attention.

Gwaine had come back and was fixing dinner. Percival pretended to keep an eye on Merlin and Lancelot from his position in the tree when he was really actually watching Gwaine bend over. The man did have a fine ass, he had to admit and even if he blushed to admit it, he’d enjoy making it his when the time was right. If it would ever be right, a fantasy was one thing but actually having a relationship with Gwaine would most assuredly give him grey hairs before his time. It would be like dealing with a rampaging puppy 24 hours a day who refused to respect any kind of boundaries and was always horny or making up ridiculous stories. Half the things Gwaine said he’d participate in was just made up details, he was sure.

“Oi, Percival, are you going to sit up there and stare at my ass all night or are you coming down to eat?” Gwaine called up to him. Percival lowered the crossbow down to Gwaine and clambered down the tree.

Percival shared him an annoyed scowl. “I wasn’t staring at you.” He lied. “I was thinking.”

“Right,” Gwaine said brightly as he took the crossbow. “My watch, you eat and rest.” That was it, no flirty touches or exaggerated winking. Gwaine apparently was going to be true to his word as he shimmied up the tree to the spot that Percival had been in for the last three hours.

Percival was just about to sit down when he turned around suddenly and there was Leon, Elyan and Arthur. “Majesty.” Percival bowed.

“Just in time for dinner, I see.” Gwaine smirked.

Arthur hushed them all. “Thank you.” He looked up at where Gwaine was. “Can you see them?”

Elyan and Leon were exhausted from the hard riding Arthur had put them through to make up time. They were more than happy for food.

“Rest a bit. I don’t think Merlin will like it if you pop up on him right now, Arthur.” Percival said quietly. “Are you feeling better?”  
  
“More myself, yeah” Arthur knew that Percival was right. Still, to have Merlin so close .. “Report.”

When Percival finished Arthur chewed his lip and cracked his knuckles. As much as he hated to admit it, Percival and Gwaine had done the right thing by hanging back. If he was going to atone for his behavior he’d have to trust Merlin no matter how mad it made him. They caught up to him, that’s all that mattered.

***

The hackles were rising on the back of his neck. Merlin glanced over at the place where he was fairly sure Gwaine and Percival were spying from. God he hoped they weren’t watching too closely. Merlin let Lancelot lean against him while he shuddered.

“I remember how we got out of there. It was you.” Lancelot reached up and touched Merlin gently. There was a light glimmering in the back of his eyes. “I can’t fight it.”

“Yes you can, Lancelot. I need my friend back. Look at me.” Merlin tried to force Lancelot to look at him. “You do not love me. You love Gwen. You knew since then.”

Lancelot went down on one knee. “I don’t love Gwen, I love you. You wanted a proposal so here it is.” Lancelot offered Merlin a delicate piece of woven dyed rope to wear around his wrist. “Fair Merlin of Ealdor. I have loved you since the moment I saw you. If you will marry me willingly in two days I shall be the happiest of men.”

That was literally the worst marriage proposal ever and the light that had flickered in Lancelot’s eyes was gone. Merlin grumped refused to put the wristband on. He fell backwards when Lancelot lunged at him and forgot that Gwaine and Percival were watching. He knocked Lancelot out with his magic and attempted to look like he’d done it normally before the man was able to pin him down and flung him to the side. “Damnit.” He sighed. Morgana had too much control over him for the moment but it was something.

Gwaine nearly fell out of the tree when he saw Lancelot go down on one knee. Then he saw Merlin dodge and take the Knight by surprise. He was too far away to see any details but clearly there was more to Merlin they knew. He truly could defend himself.

He looked over at Arthur and looked back at where Merlin was. “I think Lancelot just proposed to Merlin and Merlin knocked him out.”

Secretly pleased and yet scowling darkly, Arthur stared. “Merlin knocked out Lancelot?”

“Yes, your majesty.”

Arthur turned and stalked in the direction of Merlin and Lancelot, he was so completely and utterly done and he wanted ANSWERS. Merlin was going to face the wrath of a heartbroken, extremely pissed off King whether he liked it or not.

When Arthur burst through the forest and glared, Merlin jumped to his feet and staggered backwards. “Arthur...” The absolute last person he wanted to see or was even prepared to deal with. He must have ridden hard for he was slick with sweat and his hair was plastered to his head. Adrenalin must have kept him going.

“If you are so much in love with Lancelot that you left with him rather than staying with me...” Arthur growled as he advanced on his former...no current... still his, damnit. “I demand you tell me WHY you just knocked him out after he proposed to you! Don’t you dare lie to me, either.”

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur confronts Merlin  
> Percival informs Gwaine of what he'd really like to do.  
> Lancelot fights

“Arthur.” Merlin stared at the King. “Why can’t you ever just…” Merlin flailed as he backed away from the King.

“You said to me. You said once you would never leave me.” Arthur stopped moving and just clenched his fists. “I gave myself to you, Merlin and I didn’t do that lightly.” He took a long shuddering breath. “And you loved me. I know you did. You do. Just tell me what is going on. I just… Please, tell me?” He looked at Lancelot’s sleeping form.

Merlin’s heart melted. He couldn’t keep this up not with Arthur looking at him like that. “I haven’t left you Arthur.” He closed the distance between them, threw his arms around the King and buried his head in Arthur’s neck. Arthur slid his arms around Merlin and held him there.

“Then why…” Arthur reached up to grasp a lock of Merlin’s hair. 

“Lancelot is under a spell.” Merlin sighed as he rested his head against Arthur’s neck. “I’m trying to draw him out of it. So far, nothing’s worked. He’s dead set on carrying out the task Morgana set to him.”

“What's the end goal of the spell?” Arthur inhaled Merlin’s scent. It was like a cleansing balm, all the pain of the past few weeks just slid from his shoulders.

“Promise you won’t yell?” Merlin looked up at Arthur cautiously.

“I can’t promise anything like that.” Arthur shook his head, lips compressing. “Just tell me, Merlin.”

Merlin winced, Arthur’s grip was a little too tight on his arm and his shoulder still hurt. “He is enchanted to take the person you love the most away from you. Morgana enchanted him bring me to her so that she could bind us in a marriage ceremony. She brought him back from the dead, Arthur, he’s not really himself. I see him, from time to time, little flickers. I almost had him but her spell is strong. Gaius and I believed that if I could draw him out he could fight against the spell and become the Lancelot we remember but I had to play along. And I had to leave you so the spell on you could wear off. Morgana was probably hoping you would kill me or both of us.”

Arthur’s face was a strange play of emotions from anger to exhaustion. He rested his head on Merlin’s shoulder. “Do you still love me?” It was the last question he needed an answer to.

“Of _course_ I do.” Merlin exhaled. “But you have to leave me with Lancelot.”

Arthur glared at him.

“Arthur. He shot me with a poisoned arrow, he won’t give me the antidote until after we’re married.” Merlin's words only made Arthur madder.

“And you want me to LEAVE YOU WITH HIM?!?” Arthur yelled anyway.

“If I can get through to him before we reach Morgana, he’ll give me the antidote.”

“And how do you propose on doing that?” Arthur’s tone was low and dangerous. Merlin could sense he was hitting his boiling point.

“I know what I’m doing!” Merlin rested a hand against Arthur’s chest. “Trust me, Arthur. Just please trust me and I’ll bring him back to us but you’ve got to let me do it my way.”

Arthur’s hand snaked up Merlin’s chest to cup his jaw. “You’re not marrying him, Merlin.” He said softly. “Over my dead body are you marrying him. Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal.” Merlin shivered involuntarily. Arthur’s eyes when he was possessive… it always sent a thrill through him. “It won’t come to that.” He dared to reach up and draw Arthur’s hair out of his eyes, damp and messy as it was. His fingers traced down Arthur’s jawline to linger at his lips. “I’m glad you’re back to normal at least.”

Arthur huffed a laugh, “If you mean beside myself with rage is normal….”

“It’s a different kind of rage.” Merlin smiled as he closed the distance between their lips, it was a soft quick kiss and did not allow for bruising teeth and tongue. “You’d never hurt me when you’re like this… but you may have under the influence of that potion. God, Arthur it scared me.”

Arthur muttered something under his breath.

“You have to go now, Arthur. Lancelot will be waking up shortly and I need to deal with that.” Merlin said softly.

Arthur gave him a look that indicated that was the last thing he wanted to do. Leave Merlin alone with Lancelot. It went against every fiber of his being.

“Arthur, I promise. Nothing is going to happen between him and me.” Merlin assured him softly. “I only had him going through the proposal motions to stall him and when I realized I couldn’t answer yes, I knocked him out.”

“ _You_ knocked out Lancelot?” Arthur looked at him skeptically.

“I’m full of surprises. Now, go Arthur.”

“We’ll be within shouting distance.” Arthur sighed. It was going to be a long couple of days.

Merlin patted his shoulder. “I love you, Arthur.”

Arthur turned and stalked back the way he came while Merlin erased any traces of his presence at the campsite.

***

The moment the King walked back to his Knights the four of them knew that he was in a worse mood than when he’d first arrived. Arthur slumped against a tree. “He says he knows what he’s doing.”

Gwaine frowned. “And he wants us to just sit back, right?”

Leon, Percival and Elyan had long since decided to let Gwaine do the talking when Arthur was like this. Percival watched Gwaine from his spot while Elyan was on ‘watching Merlin’ duty. He was always impressed when Gwaine went head to head with Arthur.

“Yeah.” Arthur exhaled. “I don’t like it any more than you do.”

“No, I imagine you hate it, Princess.” Gwaine sat beside Arthur and nudged him. He offered the King a flagon of wine. “What did he say?”

Arthur ran a hand through his hair. “He thinks he can bring Lancelot back and begged me to let him try. I’d rather say no and drag him back to Camelot over my shoulder. But he has been wounded and Lancelot won’t give him the antidote, not yet.” Arthur took the wine gratefully. He needed something to calm his jangled thoughts.

“Do you think he can really bring Lancelot back to us?” Gwaine took the gourd back.

“I think if anyone can do it, Merlin can.” Arthur smiled finally. He hated to admit it but the adrenalin rush was finally wearing off and he was exhausted.

“I know you love him.” Gwaine grinned at the King but his eyes were actually elsewhere. They were resting on Percival who was watching both of them a little uncomfortably. “I love him too. He’s the best friend a guy could ever want. You know there was never anything between us, yeah?”

“Yeah” Arthur gave Gwaine a strange ‘you’re telling me this now why?’ look.

“Just checking.” Gwaine winked. “Get some sleep, Sire. You look like you haven’t since this whole thing began. We’ll watch him and wake you if anything happens.”

Arthur nodded and sort of hunched in on himself. “I need to just… maybe a small nap.” He closed his eyes and was asleep in a few minutes. Gwaine patted his shoulder and stood up. “Leon, Elyan, Percival and I are going to take a walk. You guys mind the King.”

Percival eyed Gwaine as he was roughly drawn to his feet. Instead of protesting he sighed and followed Gwaine.   
  
Leon eyed Elyan, “Tell me you like girls…I can’t be the only Knight who likes girls…”  
  
“Girls are awesome and soft.” Elyan reassured Leon.

***

Once they were a reasonable distance away, Percival laid a hand on Gwaine’s shoulder. “I told you already where I stand, Gwaine.”

“Yeah.” Gwaine smirked as he turned back around. “Then you should have stopped looking at me.” He bunched his fingers in Percival’s shirt and dragged him down to eye level. He carefully searched the other man’s eyes and took a moment to try and let himself be really seen. “You’re not a notch in my belt.” He growled and kissed Percival fiercely.

Percival had been so taken by surprise at the confession he relaxed into the kiss and drew his fingers through Gwaine’s hair. He stooped down to gather the other man into his arms and press their bodies together. When Gwaine’s hands ran down his arms and his fingers curled over the tight muscles Percival let out a low groan. “Please don’t.”

“Don’t what, Percival?” Gwaine had to actually strain to reach his neck and place a kiss there. “Your body clearly wants this.” He dragged his hand up Percival’s chest and down again to hook his fingers into the taller man’s belt.

Percival pulled his head away from Gwaine. “Maybe it does. Maybe I do. It doesn’t make this right.”

“So let me tell you where *I* stand, _Sir_ Per _cival_.” Gwaine abruptly released him emphasizing Sir and the way his Percy wanted to be called. Percival staggered back in surprise and nearly crashed into a tree. “I’ve been captivated by you since you first showed up next to Lancelot and you think I sleep with anything that moves. It’s not true. Well it was, but not since you. Okay, I flirt. I’m outrageous, that’s just me. But I haven’t slept or thought about kissing or sleeping or fucking with _anyone_ since I saw you. Is that clear enough for you? Maybe not, okay….” He threw up his hands and sort of shoved Percival away when he stepped towards Gwaine again. “I have been in love with you since the day I laid eyes on you.”

Pervical stared. He just couldn’t believe he was hearing this from Gwaine. Gwaine who spent most of his life drunk and going where the wind took him. Gwaine who was noble… and gorgeous and who would lay down his life for any of them was in love with /him/. Percival. It was a marvel really and he wanted to trust it. He wanted to trust it so badly. He reached out to grasp Gwaine’s shirt. “You really know how to break down walls…” He muttered as he dragged him into a long leisurely kiss.

Percival didn’t know what kissing Gwaine would be like, he’d fantasized about it of course. He had a sort of woodsy taste to him mixed with a bit of honey from the wine they’d had earlier. “Gwaine… Please let me do this properly.” He dared to run his hand down Gwaine’s spine just to feel how his body shivered in pleasure.

“What are you saying, Percy?” Gwaine just wanted something… anything … to relieve the pent up need he had for the man.

Percival’s lips twitched slightly as he kissed Gwaine again. “We’re not having sex. Not out here. Not like this. Let me … Um. I want to court you.”

“You want to what…” Gwaine stared at Percival, wide-eyed.

“I want to court you.” Percival said again, a determined look in his eyes. “Properly. I’m even going to ask Arthur if I can. Well, after things settle with him and Merlin. I just don’t want to throw us in his face, Gwaine. Okay? Can you wait?”

Gwaine lifted a hand helplessly to reach up and tickle one of Percival’s ears. “Big oaf.” He wacked him fondly and let Percival hold him. “Alright. I can wait. I’ve waited this long, after all.”

Percival kissed the top of Gwaine’s head. “I promise it’ll be worth it.”

“Are you going to kill a dragon for me? Because _that_ would impress me.”

“Don’t push your luck, Gwaine.” Percival snorted.

***

Lancelot woke up with his head resting in Merlin’s lap while Merlin stroked his hair gently. “Lancelot?” His husband-to-be was speaking his name softly and full of concern. He was trying to remember what had occurred but his brain was a bit fuzzy. He was having a few memory issues, of that he was certain. His eyes fluttered open and he smiled up at the beautiful young man he was going to marry. “I must have tripped over something.” He decided.

“You did and hit your head.” Merlin smiled faintly. “Okay now?”

Lancelot didn’t really feel like getting up yet, he liked where he was. Merlin’s lap was a nice place to just rest and forget about things. Things that pricked in his brain. Things he didn’t want to think about. He couldn’t really think just now, his brain was foggy and he couldn’t remember what he was doing or where he was right away. He really must have hit his head. A rush of images flooded back to him and he remembered and ran a hand over his face. “I’m sorry.”   He sat up and moved away from the other man. “I was proposing to you? I think.” He looked confused and uncertain. “Why you? I don’t love you. Merlin, what are we doing here?” Lancelot stared back at his friend in confusion. “How did I get here?”

“Lancelot?” Merlin scrabbled to his feet and stared at his friend. It was him! His eyes. They were clear. He had no idea what happened, but it was Lancelot’s own eyes that were looking back at him. Maybe the magic he’d used to knock him out did something? Merlin could never tell, sometimes his magic had a life of its own.

“I’m dead.” Lancelot exhaled and stared at Merlin. He rose unsteadily as he patted himself down. “I’m supposed to be dead. How am I here?”

Merlin laughed and reached out to grasp his friend’s arm. “Stay with me.” He pleaded. “You’re fighting a powerful enchantment, Lancelot. I’m not sure how much time you have. I’ve been poisoned. Do you know where the antidote is? Do you have it?”

“I don’t know. My head is fogged. Merlin, can you fix me with your magic?”

“I’ve tried.” Merlin kept a grip on his arm. “But you need to fight it too, Lancelot. You need to hold on to something. You’re the bravest and noblest of us all, The Dragon said so and I know it my heart. You can fight this. ”

“I feel a strong compulsion, Merlin.” Lancelot rubbed his chest and fixed his eyes on his friend. “To… you.” He choked at the idea. “But you’re my best friend. Oh my god. Merlin, I’m sorry.” He clutched his hair as he tried to clear his head. “What has she done to me?”

“Fight it please.” Merlin begged him.

And Lancelot wasn’t called the most courageous man of all for nothing. He did fight to stay on top of the shade, to at least bury it down. “I can’t entirely, Merlin.” He fell to his knees from the effort of it. “I’ve got him locked in place. I think. But I still have to take you to her. It hurts. I have to marry you. I. No. No. I’ve got it locked down, Merlin. I think.”

Merlin helped Lancelot to his feet. “His eyes shone at his friend. “You’re on top of the shade now. You fought him. We have a chance I knew you could do it!”

“It’s not over yet, Merlin.” Lancelot’s thumb traced the side of Merlin’s neck. “I have all these desires. I. God I can’t think straight.” He pulled the thumb away and lifted himself proudly. 

“I know.” Merlin nodded. “We’ll get it from her.” He wasn’t about to tell Lancelot yet that Arthur and the others were close by. How did he know for sure this wasn’t a trick by the Shade? The Shade might be letting Lancelot out on purpose for all he knew. “We will.”

“We will.” Lancelot agreed. There was no guile in the look he gave to Merlin. It reminded him of the days when the Knight would always be there for him. Lancelot was always there to comfort him when Arthur was being particularly annoying. And it was Lancelot who had made him understand his feelings for Arthur in the first place.

The rest of the night was easier. He could sleep a little and when he woke it was still his friend smiling at him. Maybe the shade had been conquered after all.

He didn’t think so, he was not that lucky.

Lancelot was grinning at him though. "I think this is the antidote." He held a small blue vial. "I found it in my pack."

Or maybe he was.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Transition chapter. :) Sorry it's short. Just needed to get them On the move again to deal with Morgana.

“Lancelot!” Merlin sniffed at the antidote and tried to remember what Gaius would do to try and identify the thing. If Morgana had given it to him, there was no telling whether or not it was an antidote or if it would make him worse. He was just happy to see the eyes of his very first friend staring back at him. “I’ve missed you.” He held Lancelot’s arm. “Badly.” Merlin admitted softly. And it was true. Lancelot was the only one who accepted him for everything that he was. Lancelot was truly his knight in shining armor, the best of them.

“Check it with your magic, Merlin.” Lancelot said softly. “I’m just happy Morgana couldn’t access my memories.” He laid his hand over Merlin’s. “I’m sorry for what this is did to you and Arthur.”

“Arthur will get over it.” Merlin had the grace to blush. “You’re my friend, I couldn’t just kill you without trying to help you.” Merlin took a few moments to study the antidote with his magic because when he was alone with Lancelot, he could do that.

“I didn’t … oh god I did. I have molested you haven’t I?” Lancelot let his gaze drift up and down Merlin sadly. “I would never have, I’m sorry. I would never come between you and Arthur.”

“It wasn’t that bad, Lancelot. Just some kissing and touching, honestly. You haven’t hurt me.” Merlin assured him since it didn’t do anyone any good if his friend kept beating himself up. “It’s good. It is the antidote.” Sometimes he wondered when it came to Morgana. She acted very strangely and providing Lancelot with an antidote to poison arrows didn’t make a whole lot of sense. A long time ago they had been friends. She’d almost seemed a little infatuated. He didn’t know.

“Arthur is really angry, isn’t he?” Lancelot stared at Merlin’s lips as if trying and failing to imagine kissing them. His gaze dropped to his shoulder.

“By now they all know you are under an enchantment.” Merlin reassured him and downed the antidote. He shuddered as its contents took immediate effect. “I’m counting on Arthur’s love, not hate.” He glanced over at the trees in the distance. From that angle they wouldn’t have been able to tell he was using magic.

“I can’t possibly remain here, Merlin. Magic doesn’t work that way. A life for a life, I’m an abomination. I’m only here because the magic is riding my soul. I still feel compelled, Merlin. I have to take you to Morgana.” Lancelot laced his fingers with his young friend and the next words he spoke were from deep in his heart. “I will do everything I can to fight her for as long as possible, Merlin. You know that I’m your Knight, don’t you? I swore in my heart to protect you a long time ago. That is why I sacrificed myself, so that you would live. Not for Arthur, not for Camelot, or for Gwen but for you. For who you are and what you will become. You will always come first in my heart.” And he didn’t mean it as in a great love of the heart or that he was deeply in love with Merlin. He meant it truly as true and pure as the heart could love. He was and would always be Merlin’s first champion. His First Knight. “That is how I was able to fight the magic within me and suppress it. You. And you know in your heart that you cannot save me. I’m dead, Merlin. You may be the most powerful sorcerer in Albion but even you know it is only a matter of time. My soul cannot fight forever. You actually should have killed this body as soon as you figured out what I was. Why didn’t you?”

Merlin stared at Lancelot and tears sprang into his eyes. He’d given up his life so that Merlin could live. “I couldn’t do it. I knew I should have, but…” Merlin shook his head furiously. “I couldn’t kill you, I had to try and save you.”

“You’ve put yourself in incredible danger and far from Arthur who you are sworn to protect.” Lancelot said softly.

“I’m not that far away from him.” Merlin stared at the ground.

Lancelot frowned, lifted his head and looked around slowly. “What exactly do you mean, Merlin?” He tightened his grip on Merlin’s hand involuntarily.

Merlin whistled and Lancelot drew his sword.

It didn’t take the knights long to come crashing through the trees. Eventually they skidded to a halt just at the edge of the clearing. Four dangerous men. Gwaine, Elyan, Leon and Percival. Brothers in arms. They were each of them ready to defend Merlin if it was going to come down to it.  
  
Lancelot drew Merlin behind him and remained defensive. He knew all of their fighting styles and he was the best among them. He knew he would prevail. To the right of Gwaine another man appeared.

King Arthur had taken some time to collect himself and it showed. He lifted his head proudly, sword sheathed and both hands raised as if in peace offering. “Merlin, are you hurt?” His eyes fixed upon Lancelot, however.

They both looked at each other like two alpha males ready to rip each other’s throats out until Merlin stepped between them. “I’m fine, I’m fine.” He pushed Lancelot’s sword down. “It’s alright. Okay you two. Let’s put away the swords.”

“*I* don’t have mine out.” Arthur said sullenly.

“I beg to differ.” Merlin muttered under his breath as Lancelot sheathed his sword finally. He looked over at the other knights. “It’s alright. Lancelot is with us. I called everyone together because we need to get whatever is binding Lancelot to Morgana so we can release his soul and he can rest in peace.”

Arthur looked hard at Merlin and his expression finally softened. “Are we done playing cat and mouse then?”

“As long as you don’t touch Merlin, I think I can control the shade.” Lancelot threw Arthur a challenging look.

“Merlin?” Arthur didn’t seem to like that idea in the slightest but at least the jealousy potion had worn off. He was certainly more in control of his feelings but he wasn’t sure how he could handle having Lancelot and Merlin thrown in his face.

“I’ll be taking care of Lancelot when we travel, Arthur. It’s only for a few more days.” Merlin gave him a pleading look. “I need to save him, Arthur. I’ll make all this up to you, I swear.”

Arthur looked slowly between Lancelot and Merlin.

The other four Knights just simply waited for their King to make the decision because they were rather pleased themselves to see Lancelot was behaving more like himself and it would be nice to travel together. It would be like old times.

“You swear?” Arthur said as everyone held their breath. His eyes were dark and stormy as they flickered between Lancelot and Merlin.

“Yes.” Merlin glanced briefly at Lancelot to see how much more he could get away with but he could tell it was taking a herculean effort for the Knight to even let Arthur this close.

“Alright.” Arthur exhaled. “Just Remember.” He glared at Lancelot. “I’m watching you. You try and hurt him again, I will kill you.” Arthur turned on his heel and stalked back to the camp to gather his horse and supplies and bring them back.

Merlin fought down a nearly uncontrollable urge to follow after Arthur. Lancelot seemed to relax once the promises had been laid down and honor dealt with. He smiled tentatively at the other Knights who came over to be friendly and hug their brother. Except for Gwaine who instinctively headed after Arthur.

“You sure you can handle this, Princess?” Gwaine asked tentatively, worry clear in his tone.

“Not really.” Arthur admitted, shoulders sagging slightly.

Gwaine gave him an encouraging shove. “We’ll help you through it. It’s Merlin, Arthur. He’d do the same for any of us. You know that he doesn’t love Lancelot, right? He was Merlin’s best friend.”

“I know,” Arthur muttered. “I know Gwaine."

**TBC**


	8. chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur is Jealous even without a potion but at least he gets to kill things.

To say that it was painful watching Merlin put Lancelot's armor on was an understatement. Arthur couldn't help but track their every move. It put his teeth on edge and he found himself wishing for combat so he could blow off steam. Something, anything to get his mind off of Merlin's hands on Lancelot.

As for Merlin, he worried about Arthur but he focused his attention on Lancelot. “There you're looking good.” Merlin grinned at his friend and brushed off some leaves from his cloak.

“Don't tell me, if looks could kill Arthur would have skewered me by now.” Lancelot squeezed Merlin's hand gently. “We'll get through this.”

“And I /will/ save you.” Merlin was determined. He went over to Lancelot's horse and got her ready. Gwaine met him.

“The Princess is reigning in his temper.” Gwaine glanced over at where Arthur was struggling into his armor. Percival was helping him. “Believe you and me I'm glad we've only got a couple of days of this. You do know that by the time he's allowed to put his hands on you you won't be able to sit for a week?”

Truth be told, Merlin was missing Arthur more than he was willing to let on. He glanced over at Arthur who was really not happy with having to put up with being waited on by Percival. “Percival drew the short straw?”

“Percival's the only one of us with the temperament to deal with Arthur when he's like this.” Gwaine muttered and it was plenty clear he didn't like watching Percival with Arthur either.

“Hey...” Merlin decided to change the subject. “Why are you upset about that?” he gestured towards the pair.

“No reason.” Gwaine muttered.

“I know you better than that, Gwaine. I know that look.” Merlin poked his chest. “Are you still lusting after Arthur?”

“What Arthur?” Gwaine snorted and scoffed. “He's yours, Merlin.”

"PERCIVAL?” Merlin stared and tried not to screech. “You're with him? When did that happen?”

“Not so loud!” Gwaine shushed Merlin. “And yes...sort of.” He gave a small pleased smile. “Percival is... going to court me.”

Merlin stared. “You don't do courting.”

“Shut up.” Gwaine shoved Merlin playfully.

“Well, I hope it works out, Gwaine.” Merlin grinned. “And don't worry about Arthur. I can handle him.”

“I hope so, Merlin. I hope you know what you are doing.” Gwaine's expression became more serious. “You know I've got your back?”

“Yes, of course.” Merlin grinned at him.

Arthur grunted as he now had to deal with Gwaine being friendly with Merlin when he wasn’t allowed to. It really wasn't fair.

“Arthur.” Leon came up to him. “Elyan did some scouting this morning. It looks like we'll be dealing with a raiding party.”

Gods be praised. Arthur was almost immediately cheering up. He'd get to kill things. “Let’s hope so.”

Leon gave him a weird look and Arthur went to have a quick discussion with Gwaine.

***

Just before they were ready to leave, Merlin collected the water bottles to go fill them up by the river. Gwaine distracted Lancelot and Arthur followed him. “Merlin?”

Merlin jumped and looked over his shoulder, “Arthur, you should be back with the others. I don't want him to....”

Arthur strode over and drew Merlin into his arms. He buried his head in Merlin's neck and sighed. “I just needed this, just. This.”

Merlin relented and wrapped his arms around Arthur in a tight hug. He could feel the tension in the King. He was wound up tight and his heart ached for him. “I'm sorry.” Merlin couldn't help but run his fingers through Arthur's hair and brush it back.

Arthur's eyes were stormy as he reluctantly pulled away. Without another word he made his way back to the group before he would be missed.

Merlin was left feeling like the wind had been kicked out of his sails. He took a few more minutes than necessary to fill up those bottles. That small swift contact with Arthur had again reminded his brain of who he was meant to be with. The King he loved who he was putting through hell for the sake of friendship.

He passed out the water skins when he got back and said nothing as they all mounted up on the horses and began to move again.

***

  
Arthur and Leon rode in the front. Merlin and Lancelot behind them and Gwaine and Percival brought up the rear. Elyan was scouting ahead ready to give them warning when they ended up running across the brigands. And gods, but Arthur needed brigands. He’d chosen to ride in front because that would mean he wouldn’t have to watch Merlin and Lancelot together. A wise choice, all things considered.

The attack that happened was unexpected, Elyan had tried to warn everyone but they were suddenly swarmed. Men came out of the trees and they were spoiling for a fight. The knights rallied and had to get off the horses to fight properly. Arthur tried to pull everyone close together so they wouldn’t get totally overwhelmed and even Lancelot followed his orders. It was almost like old times, each of his men doing what they did best and by the gods, he knew he needed this.

  
The King relished each swing of his sword and movement of his limbs as he drank in the clash of steel and the shouting of men. In combat, everyone was chased by the specter of death. One never knew when a blow would mean the end. Arthur was a warrior, and each moment that he lasted in combat, each time he parried a sword or dodged an arrow, each and every one of those moments was a rush of power. This was where he was in complete control. This was the first time in weeks where he felt like he had power again.

  
That potion had driven him mad with jealousy. He’d been a danger to everyone around him. He’d never felt so utterly wretched when he thought he was losing Merlin to Lancelot. Every one of his nerves had been on edge and he’d been erratic and unable to think clearly. He couldn’t even tell what Merlin had and what many of his friends had. He had not noticed that Lancelot wasn’t himself. He’d not noticed that Merlin had stayed away from him to protect himself, to wait for the potion to wear off.

  
If Arthur had done anything to Merlin during that time the King would never have forgiven himself. Now as the screams of men falling from his sword he could finally be completely secure again in the fact that control was back in his hands. Adrenalin pumped through his veins at an alarming rate as he swung his sword and barked orders.

 

Finally, it was over. Merlin had a prisoner and was questioning him. Arthur wiped blood from his sword as he watched. He’d never seen Merlin do such a thing before and the site of it made his mouth run a little dry. It wasn’t that Merlin was being scary or mean to the man. He was simply holding his hand over the wound on the man’s chest. “I can help you.” Merlin said softly. “Tell me what I want to know, and I will tell my friends to give you a quick death.”

 

“Morgana sent us.” The man said tearfully, blood pooling in his mouth. “She found out that Arthur is with you.”

 

Lancelot looked briefly at Arthur then back at the dying man. “This means there will be more of them.” He told the King. It was the first time Lancelot had spoken to directly to Arthur since they had all been reunited. Arthur blinked at him, it was weird. He could almost see his old friend there.

Gwaine helped pull an arrow out of Percival’s chain mail. It had barely scraped the ribs. Thank goodness. “Try not to be so clumsy next time.” Gwaine muttered. He sighed at the blood and visibly relaxed. “Just a flesh would.” His heart had nearly jumped in his throat when he saw Percival take that arrow.

Percival scoffed, “It’ll take more than a tiny arrow to bring me down.” He gave Gwaine a fond look and directed his eyes towards the King and Lancelot.

“He’s not wrong.” Elyan nodded to Lancelot. “I don’t think this is the last of them.”

Leon wondered, “How long till we meet up with her?”

“Not long now.” Lancelot sheathed his sword. “If we move quickly we might get her by surprise. We’d have to travel by night though.”

  
Merlin looked down at the man. “She knows we are not alone.” He sighed as the man began sputtering up more blood and coughing. “Kill him.” He nodded at Leon who knelt down and gave the man a mercy killing as directed.

“This place we’re headed.” He looked towards Lancelot. “It was your home once?”

“Yes. But now it is just a ruin.” Lancelot shrugged. “She may be using it to gather strength. I don’t know. That’s not where she resurrected me. That’s just where I’m compelled to take you.” He swallowed slightly as though he was fighting some memory or other. “Merlin…” He reached out to touch the younger man and grasped his shoulder.

  
“What? What is it?” Merlin steadied him and wrapped an arm around Lancelot’s shoulder.

Arthur’s eyes never left the pair of them. All the control he’d felt during the combat suddenly began to drain of him and he valiantly strove to hold on to it. He succeeded, barely, to keep that feeling intact. He had to.

“There was a symbol she had. A kind of twisting swirl.” Lancelot thought hard. “She was using it to give me memories.”

Merlin nodded as if he understood and almost forgot that the other knights were there. “Yes we p-…” He paused and paled. He had almost revealed himself. “Pondered that ourselves. Gaius and I.” he saved as quickly as he could. “And whether or not there was a counter. That’s why I was trying to draw out your real memories. That’s the strongest counter we have.” He smiled at Lancelot brightly. “Stay with us.”

Arthur grunted and turned to look at Gwaine and Percival. Percival had been grazed but he was doing fine. “Doesn’t magic usually require a focus?” He hated talking about sorcery but they had to in this case. Besides, he wanted Merlin to look at /him/ not at Lancelot.

“Yes, usually. That’s what Gaius told me.” Merlin said breathlessly. “It’s possible she has something at the ruined keep.”

  
“Then well find it and destroy it. That way we can set you free.” Arthur told Lancelot gruffly.

 

And yes, that was the plan. Merlin sighed as he looked at Arthur. He wanted to go to the King but Lance turned and gave him a look. The shade wouldn’t put up with that and he was doing everything in his power to keep that thing under control. Merlin smiled. “Well, we’d best get moving and ride at night as you say.”

Arthur turned swiftly and reached to finger the neckerchief he kept close, tucked under his armor. He’d get through this.

***

The rest of the journey was passed in uneasy silence. They were attacked once more but easily fought them off. The Knights were fighting again as they used to, rallied with their King. It was almost like old times except for the one small difference. The King’s Manservant was not attending him.

The ruined keep stood by a small mostly dried up lake on a plain. Morgana had somehow managed to raise another small army of brigands all in lust with her power, he supposed. It was late at night when they finally organized a plan. They’d all dress up as brigands and blend in. Merlin thought that the idea of Arthur trying to blend in as a brigand was ridiculous with his blonde looks and came up with the idea of dirtying him up.

So that’s why the King’s hair was caked with dirt and his face smeared with juice and mud. Percy would stand guard because really he couldn’t blend in, he was too tall and recognizable. Elyan went ahead because that was what he does. Leon was quiet and thoughtful throughout the entire thing. Merlin had a guess as to why. He always got that way when they were about to deal with Morgana.

“Lancelot will take me in and you guys can get into the encampment. He’ll tell her he managed to get me out of your grasp.” Merlin told the others and that was the plan they were going with.

So that is how he ended up letting Lancelot take him through the broken gates of the keep he once called his home. And Morgana. She was waiting for them with a slow smile upon her lips. “Oh delicious.” She clapped her hands. “My two love-birds have returned.”

Merlin glared at her. “Morgana.” How could he once have had feelings for her all those years ago? All that she had done. He shuddered. He felt Lancelot squeeze his hand gently and looked up at the man. He knew elsewhere in the keep the other knights would be searching. He knew Arthur would be watching.

“Hm. And that’s the thanks for bring the man you love back from the dead.” Morgana tittered, “Really, Merlin don’t you have anything to say? You’ll be married tomorrow morning. Good gracious, you’ll need something to wear… and something blue.” She snickered to herself. “Not to worry, I’ve taken care of everything. But now I want to see proof. Lancelot, if he is yours. I demand proof.”

Merlin’s heart sank, he was so hoping she wouldn’t. He’d only ever kissed one man and gods, he hoped Arthur wasn’t watching. He tried to relax as Lancelot drew him into his arms. “The King tried to take him back to Camelot.” Lancelot lifted his chin to Morgana. “But he stayed with me.” The knight brushed Merlin’s hair from his eyes and trailed a finger down his cheek. All a show. It was all a show. Merlin tried very hard not to whimper and lifted his head slightly to kiss him.

  
It could not be a chaste kiss either. Morgana would have sensed treachery in anything less. Merlin gasped into the kiss, he’d never expected Lancelot to be really … good. The Knight’s hands didn’t stop at the kiss. He put on a show and drew them down to actually grip his … bum. Merlin yelped and that gave his friend’s tongue more access to him. Oh god. There it was. Hot, wet and insistent. Merlin had no idea what to do. He clung to Lancelot’s shoulders and found his treacherous body… responding. After exploring Merlin’s mouth quite thoroughly, Lancelot withdrew and let him breathe for a moment.

Merlin simply hung on to him, clasped in one arm while his mind simply couldn’t process what had just happened.

“I think it’s a good thing I’ve organized a room for you. I’m such a good friend.” Morgana giggled as she drew Merlin away from Lancelot and started to go on about how wonderful weddings were. She was, as far as Merlin was concerned, completely batshit crazy. Especially since she started talking as though they were the best of friends. 

***

  
“Fuck me.” Gwaine exhaled at the site of Merlin and Lancelot kissing. He felt Arthur go for his sword and had to literally drag him away and pretend to be in some sort of snog/struggle with him himself. Once out of sight he pressed the King up against the wall and held him there with all the strength he had. Arthur was desperately struggling. “Arthur!” He smacked the King’s face. “Focus. It was a show, that’s all.”

“Didn’t look like a show to me.” Arthur rasped finally seeing something other than a red haze. He trembled and crumpled back against the wall.

Gwaine shook him. “This isn’t helping Merlin. Snap out of it!”

Arthur rallied himself. Gwaine was right. He just. He hadn’t been expecting have to see them kiss. “You’re right.” He drew in a shuddering breath. “You’re right. It was just a show.” He ran his fingers though his dirty hair and ughed at the mess.

Gwaine rolled his eyes. “God, you’re such a Princess, sometimes. Arthur.” With a huff, he hauled the King by the shoulder and got them back on track.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plan comes together

Morgana linked her arm with Merlin’s as though they were best friends in the world and not bitter enemies. She drew him to a rather luxurious looking room apparently all set up for a couple for their first night as newlyweds. “I’ve gone all out for you, as you can see!” She gushed happily. “Once you are properly married, Lancelot will have you there.” She pointed to the bed with grin, “Or there…” she eyes the table laden with delicacies. “Or wherever he wants to. He’s so handsome, I’m almost jealous.”

YOU marry him then. Merlin wanted to gripe. “Tell me you’re not daft enough to put me in a wedding dress.” He muttered.

Morgana tittered, “I had thought about it but seriously, Merlin, dresses would not suit you. I did have something made for you, however.” She wandered over to the armoire and Merlin had to resist the urge to try and kill her right then and there. But for now she didn’t know who he was and he didn’t know how much stronger she had become.

She pulled the outfit out and laid it on the bed with glee. “There, you’re going to look stunning.”

Merlin stared. “You have got to be joking, Morgana.”

The outfit was ridiculous. Merlin wished he could burn it right here and now. It was varying degrees of red and black. Pendragon red no less as if she had done that on purpose. The pants were tight, soft leather and lace winded through the sides. The boots were black too and rode up to the top of his calves. Merlin picked up the red fine silk tunic and turned it around. He’d never worn anything like that before and his face flushed to match it when he realized the entire back was basically just a series of lace and it would rest low on his shoulders. “What the hell is this?” He shook the shirt at Morgana.

“Your wedding shirt. Would you prefer it to be white and virginal?” Morgana gave him an amused look.

“Gods.” Merlin groaned at it. He dearly hoped he would never have to put on that thing. It would feel like his entire backside was exposed.

“Now, you stay right here, some bathwater will be brought up so you can prepare yourself for the morning and Lancelot will be by shortly. I have some things for him as well.” Morgana giggled, brazenly kissed Merlin’s cheek and sauntered out. The door locked behind her.

Merlin held the garment between two fingers in distaste and flung it to the other side of the room. There was no way in hell he was wearing it.

Merlin just gazed around the entire room and huffed. He had never envisioned himself getting married or living in any sort of room that was this luxurious in spite of the state of the ruined keep. There were still parts of it that were habitable and Morgana had gone out of her way to make this room warm, cozy and pleasant. He was feeling a little… off. There was a scent in the room he wasn’t used to and it was making him feel somewhat nauseous. What…His head became a little fuzzy and it reeled. Something wasn’t right. He needed fresh air. He stumbled to the window and tried to open it but it was boarded shut. He half crawled to the door and attempted to use magic to open it. It opened just a bit but the guards were already there and he couldn’t keep himself conscious enough to take them out.

Morgana grinned when she was called back in. “Wash him and dress him. Then bring Lancelot up here once we’ve bound him again.” She told the guards, stepped away and locked the door. She wasn’t going to let Merlin get the upper hand here. When he woke up, it would be his wedding day and there would be nothing he could do about it, she would chain him up if she had to.

***

As for the Knights and the King they were trying to blend in and search the Keep which was their best plan so far. Gwaine had managed to settle Arthur down and they were split up in case Morgana caught one or more of them. Now he was alone with his thoughts as he skulked down one of the ruined hallways. And though his thoughts were desperately trying to fray the loose control he had gained he fought off the urge to just simply lose it, kill everything in sight and force his sister to free Lancelot so that Merlin would come home.

That’s why he was here. Arthur’s heart thudded. Merlin was only here because he wanted to free Lancelot from Morgana’s spell. That was it. He didn’t actually want Lancelot. He didn’t love Lancelot. Arthur rubbed his chest, it was a little achy from lack of sleep. Merlin hadn’t said anything about loving him, either. They. He did. Arthur was certain of it. He tried to will the image of that kiss out of his mind. That didn’t look like any kind of chaste desire. It had looked like Merlin was responding. It had looked like Merlin had loved it.

He rubbed at his face. He’d be glad to get all the muck off. He hated being dirty and thinking about the dirt was one way to stop himself from going mad wondering which one of them Merlin wanted and that was when he almost missed it.

He stopped and looked again. He’d thought he saw Lancelot at the other end of the hallway being escorted by a couple of guards. Arthur grunted and hid in the shadows until they moved passed just to be sure. Yes it was Lancelot and he was looking a little more vacant than he last saw him so he made sure that no one could see him. Arthur followed them down into the lower levels of the keep.

He moved as quietly as possible and hid as much as he could. No one seemed to be paying all that much attention to him since he just looked like another dirty mercenary. Lancelot was led into a particularly large cell and Arthur found a place to hide and watch. On the ground there was a large swirling symbol, similar to what Merlin had described. Lancelot was made to step upon it and it glowed. Arthur quelled an intake of breath as his face became slightly skeletal and he saw the shade for the first time.

Morgana came down a long flight of stairs to the cell and smiled when she saw Lancelot. She spoke a few words and he simply lifted his head to her. “Impressive.” She smiled softly. “You think I didn’t notice the old you trying to fight? You know it is futile don’t you? You are completely under my power.” She pulled out a small coin and fingered it. “Your soul and life are mine. I gave it back to you and I can take it away.”

“Morgana.” Lancelot exhaled. “Please let me take Merlin back to Camelot.”

“Still the loyal Knight.” Morgana laughed softly. “Still struggling, why don’t you just let go, Lancelot? And let me guide you.” Her words purred as she slipped a finger up and down Lancelot’s shoulder. “In less than twelve hours Merlin will be yours, forever. Then the final stage of my plan will begin.” She gave Lancelot a jewel encrusted dagger much like the one that Arthur had given her a long while back. In fact, it is exactly that very dagger. “Once you consummate the marriage you will kill him and yourself.” That is the last task I require of you.”

Lancelot struggled but the magical hold that she had upon him was too much and when she rubbed that coin and the magical symbol beneath him flowed with power he cried out and fell to his knees. “As you wish.” He took the dagger and secured it.

Morgana cackled gleefully, “I will send both your bodies back to Arthur when this is done. Guards have him remain here for the spell to take hold then send him up to Merlin in two hours.” She put the coin on an altar next to the swirling symbol and whispered something. It glowed as well.

Arthur’s blood chilled. No. No. No! He was not going to let that happen so he waited until Morgana was gone and Lancelot was standing alone in the circle. There were four guards and he had a feeling he could take out all of them but he’d then be left with having to fight Lancelot. He needed help.

Luckily, help was nearby in the form of his knights. Arthur eventually rounded up Leon and Gwaine. Elyan was nowhere to be found yet and Percival was waiting with the horses. “I’ve found Lancelot and Morgana is doing some kind of spell on him. I think we need to get that coin out of the altar and somehow get rid of that symbol. There are four guards. I’ll need to get that coin and deal with Lancelot while you both deal with the guards. Sound good?” As usual his plans were crisp and easy to execute. The Knights were ready.

The attack was swift and quick. They did their best not to let any of the guards scream. Lancelot was still in a trance in the swirling circle and did nothing to help or hinder them. “Damnit, I hope you’re fighting her.” Arthur grunted as he approached the altar. He hated magic but he always had to deal with it. He knew better than to touch anything glowing with magic with his bare hands so he pulled out Merlin’s neckerchief from where he had stashed it and used it to reach for the coin.

He grabbed it successfully though he knew it was hot to the touch. Thank goodness for the neckerchief. He gave a little yelp anyway because it crackled but it did the job. The nasty little thing was in his hands and he turned.

To find that Lancelot had his sword drawn and was pointing it at his chest.

“Sire.” Lancelot said softly.

Arthur stared, everyone had their swords drawn but him. Gwaine tossed his to Arthur and he barely managed to swipe Lancelot’s sword out of the way as he attempted to skewer him. “Aargh…” They fought for a while, swords clanking. Lancelot and Arthur were well matched. “Gwaine! Think of something, get rid of that damn thing on the floor!” He dodged another blow. “Lancelot! This isn’t you snap the hell out of it!” He started rubbing the coin as he’d seen Morgana do and was surprised to see Lancelot simply stand still and stare at him. “Crap.” He glanced at Gwaine who was trying to work with Leon to figure out how to get rid of the magical glowing thing on the floor. “Sheath your sword.” He told Lancelot. And the Knight did. “Hm..” Arthur thought.

“Arthur. Tell him to remember himself, already!” Gwaine snapped from trying to scuff the floor with his boot to see if he could get rid of it. Nothing.

“Sir Lancelot, Knight of Camelot. I command you to remember and be.” Arthur rubbed the key again.

Lancelot clutched his head and cried out in pain. Magical ripples went through him and Arthur saw the skeletal shade appear and disappear. The Knight shook his head in an unnatural fashion and clawed at his shirt. It was an agonizingly long moment before the Knight opened his eyes and they were clear. “Arthur?” He rasped as he patted himself, stupefied.

Arthur held up the stone. “I think we’ve got you back. Feel any irrational need to kill me? Still in love with Merlin?”

“Merlin…” Lancelot paused. “Oh god.” He paled as memories rushed through his brain. “Oh my god.” He backed away from the three of them, confused.

Arthur grunted, glared at him. “Right. We’ve got you and the talisman she was using to control you. Now we just have to get Merlin and get the hell out of here before she finds out I’m here.”

“I know where he is.” Lancelot looked extremely embarrassed. “God, Arthur. I’m so sorry. I couldn’t control my actions. I’m sorry for all of this.” If the look on his face was anything to go by he was so distressed by it all it looked like his feelings might cave in on him.

“You were under a spell, Lancelot. Come on, we don’t have time for this. Let’s get him before she discovers you’re free.”

Lancelot led them up to the room that he knew Morgana was keeping Merlin in. They made short work of the guards and Arthur flung open the doors.

His mouth fell open at what he saw. Merlin was laid out on the bed on his stomach. The room smelled sweet and he was dressed in.

“What the hell …. Is that.” Leon stared.

Arthur glared at everyone. “Not a word.” He stalked over to the figure on the bed. God he looked. So good. So perfect. “Merlin…” He reached over to touch the young man’s cheek.

His eyes fluttered open. “Arthur…” The smile was tentative until he remembered where he was. He scrambled up to a seating position and looked mortified when he realized he was dressed in … that outfit. He felt so… so exposed and he squirmed uncomfortably in Arthur’s gaze. “I… Lancelot?”

“Merlin. Can you ever forgive me?” Lancelot exhaled as he met Merlin’s eyes.

“How did you?” Merlin looked back and forth between all of them.

Arthur held up the stone. “We need to figure out a way to destroy this. I commanded him to remember.”

Merlin smiled at Arthur and scrambled up off of the bed. He threw himself into Lancelot’s arms and hugged him tightly. “I’m so glad you’re back!” He had done that so quickly he missed the look of pain in Arthur’s eyes.

Arthur knew that it wasn’t the hug of a lover but … still.

“Merlin…” Gwaine kind of gave him a look and jerked his head at Arthur.

Merlin realized what he had just done and turned to the stricken King. “Arthur!” He took a few steps forward but Arthur held up his hand, warding him off.

“I’m messy.” Arthur’s voice was dark and gruff. “Time to go.” He turned and stalked out.

They met Elyan in the hallway who gave them all a smirk. “I’ve taken care of Morgana, she’ll be busy for a while.”

Arthur didn’t smile and didn’t ask. Elyan was good that way. He worked better on his own. Arthur just wanted to get out of there before her army of mercenaries came down upon them. He definitely did not want to see Lancelot offer Merlin his cloak to hide his…god that thing was really distracting.

“I can’t believe you!” Gwaine hissed at Merlin as they fled the Keep.

“What! We’re just friends!” Merlin protested.

“You better talk to Arthur and soon!” Gwaine shoved him to the front of the group. “I mean really talk to him.”

Right. Gwaine was right. Merlin hurried up to keep pace with the King. “Arthur?”  
  
“Not now, Merlin.” Arthur said in his most pompous tone.

“I love you.” Merlin blurted out and wrung his hands.

Arthur stopped, turned and glared at Merlin. “I said NOT NOW!” He shouted, shoved Merlin back and continued to move forward.

Merlin gave Gwaine a helpless look.

“I said soon! Not right this second.” Gwaine smacked his shoulder. “Give the man a break, he just saw you laid out like a harlot for Lancelot’s pleasure. Then you go and fling yourself into said person’s arms after Arthur’s spent every last breath he has trying to rescue you. He’s understandably upset.”

“Oh.”

Lancelot brought up the rear. He couldn’t help but be hurt by the words he’d heard Merlin say to Arthur. The spell had only just been broken, after all.

“Oh.” Gwaine mimicked.

They met up with Percy who was extremely relieved to see everyone was okay and began to head back to Camelot.

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And .. done.:)See chapter notes

Arthur didn’t speak to him the entire day. After they found a place where he could clean up Arthur excused himself from the group and headed to the river to wash all the dirt off of him and change back into regular clothing. Merlin trailed him to help.

“I don’t need you to help me.” Arthur said sharply. Whether or not that was true he still just stood where he was while Merlin helped take off the mercenary armor.

Merlin chased his eyes up to Arthur’s face. “I’m sorry, Arthur.” He said softly. “I really truly am sorry. Can you… can you understand why I had to do what I did? Why I had to leave?”

“I understand all of that.” Arthur barked fiercely. “What I don’t understand is why you say you love me when you’re clearly attracted to him. I saw that kiss, Merlin. I’m not stupid.” He pulled off his shirt and tossed it on the pile. With an exasperated sigh he squatted by the river to start applying water with only a half-hearted effort.

“Let me.” Merlin went down on his knees and did what he did best. He squeezed a cloth with water and soap and began to clean Arthur up. “You’re right, Arthur. I am attracted to him.” He admitted softly and wished he didn’t have to when he heard the grunt of pain from his King.

“Why am I not enough Merlin?” Arthur growled angrily and looked away from Merlin as he bent over and let the man pour water over his head to get the dirt out of his hair. When he lifted his head Merlin could see the pain in the King’s eyes and he hated himself for putting it there. “Just go to him if you want him.”

Merlin washed the soap in gently. His fingers slid through the dirty hair and pulled the dirt away from his scalp. “I never realized how deeply you loved me until the potion dragged it out of you. I always thought you would just stop us one day and I would go back to simply being your servant and I was okay with that because at least I had you for a little while.” Merlin said softly. “I never knew you truly loved me until that potion and by then I’d already made the decision to help Lancelot.” He pulled some more dirt out of Arthur’s hair gently. “He was my friend, Arthur and under a terrible spell. Yes, I feel an attraction to him and it was sorely tested while he was taking me to Morgana. I just, I just hoped you’d understand and let me make it up to you.” He smiled sadly. “Gwaine was right to be upset at me. I was so happy that Lancelot had been freed that I didn’t think about you and I should have been thinking about how that would make you feel. I did when he kissed me and Arthur I feel awful that you had to witness that.” He swallowed and looked earnestly at his King. “I don’t deserve you.”

He took both of Arthur’s hands and squeezed them in his. “I never told you before because I didn’t want you to feel bad when you eventually had to put me aside. Please, I don’t deserve you, especially not after everything. Please take me back. I will do anything you ask. I love you, Arthur. I will love you and only you until the day I die.” Tears welled in his eyes. “W-… what happened with Lancelot. What you saw. It was… it was j… just physical attraction and it’s only ever been you. Everything that I am is yours, Arthur. I made a terrible mistake. I went to him first when I woke up. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”

Arthur couldn’t deny how nice it was to have Merlin’s hands working on him again. He felt the anger ebbing away as Merlin begged him and tried to explain. He’d been waiting a long time to hear Merlin to talk about love. His pride wanted him to stand up and turn away and cut Merlin out of his life for good. Tell him to go to Lancelot, leave, never see him again. He just couldn’t do it. Maybe that made him weak but he could not imagine being King without Merlin at his side. He just couldn’t imagine dealing with everything without some solace from it all. Merlin was his warm blanket on a cold night, the light in the darkness the person he trusted when everyone else turned away. And really that was what hurt the most.

“I won’t hurt you again, I swear it.” Merlin was getting worried that Arthur wasn’t saying anything. He rinsed the King’s hair gently.

“Even if I take a wife, you won’t leave?” Arthur searched Merlin’s eyes.

“I’ll be with you until the end, Arthur.” Merlin rubbed the cloth in Arthur’s hair to start the drying process. When he pulled the towel away Arthur was looking at him intensely.

“Because you love me.” Arthur exhaled.

“I love you, Arthur.” Merlin lowered his head, ashamed of the behavior that had hurt Arthur so much.

Arthur crushed his lips against Merlin and drew him into his arms. He growled and threw him down on the ground a panting, needy mess. “Clothes off.” He ordered tersely as he unbuckled his belt. He was already painfully hard and he watched with a heated look when Merlin struggled out of his clothes. He’d at least changed. The memory of Merlin laid out on a bed for another man was burned into his skull and he wasn’t sure he’d ever get rid of it. “You’re mine, Merlin. From this moment forward. Mine alone. No one else can have you.” For once he was in control of the relationship. Merlin had relinquished all control to him.

That declared, Arthur pounced upon him and laid punishing kisses up and down his neck and shoulders. “Arthur… Arthur…” Merlin cried out for him and that was all the encouragement he needed. When he took Merlin there on the banks of the river he was careful to ensure that Merlin would never forget what it felt to have himself at the King’s mercy.

***

When they eventually made it back to camp, Arthur was clean and looking satisfied and Merlin looked exhausted. Gwaine breathed a sigh of relief and slipped his hand behind Percy’s back and whispered. “Wouldn’t you like to look like that?”

Percy shoved him and kept his eyes on the King.

Arthur let Merlin go off to collapse into a sleeping roll and went to speak to Lancelot. “He’s back with me.” Arthur looked at the Knight. It was a simple statement and somewhat of a challenge.

Lancelot looked at him with tired eyes.

Arthur picked the stone out of his pocket with the swirling symbol and gave it to the Knight. “You’re still a Knight of Camelot.”

Lancelot cast his eyes over to where Merlin was already falling asleep. “I failed him.”

“You were not yourself.” Arthur shook his head. “He knew that.”

“Take care of him, Arthur.” Lancelot pocketed the stone. “I will find a way to release myself from the power of this stone but you must understand I cannot stay to Camelot.”

“You love him too.”

“I’ve always loved him, but you are his world and I accept that.” Lancelot held out his hand. “I will return to Camelot from time to time. I will fight with you in battle but I will not come between you any more than I already have. I will go to Ealdor from time to time and you can send word to me there.”

Arthur took the hand and gave him a manly hug. “Take care of yourself.”

“Take care of him.”

“He won’t like it that you haven’t stayed to say good-bye.” Arthur looked ruefully at his slumbering manservant.

“It’ll be easier for him this way, Arthur.” Lancelot smiled. “And he has you. That is all he’s ever wanted.”

“There’s more isn’t there?” Arthur shifted from Merlin to Lancelot. “More he hasn’t told me about your relationship. Why you are so special to him?”

“He’ll tell you in time, Arthur.”

“I think I know what it is.” The King exhaled. “But you’re right, I want him to tell me himself. He should not fear me.”

“Let him love you for a time and he will come around to it.” Lancelot assured the King

“Good bye, Lancelot.” Arthur released their arms and Lancelot said his goodbyes to Leon, Percy, Gwaine and Elyan. It was not a permanent goodbye because he would be back for meetings of the round table but he would never stay in Camelot. Never live there.

“Take care of him.” Lancelot got on his horse and was gone.

Gwaine nudged Percival. “The King’s in a good mood, now’s the time to ask him.”

“Gods you’re impatient!” Percival cuffed Gwaine’s ear.

“Why waste time?”

“Ask me what?” Arthur looked over at the pair of them as he knelt down to slide himself behind Merlin. He didn’t care that everyone saw. He wrapped his arms around the warlock and tucked a blanket about them.

“I want to court Sir Gwaine with your permission, sire.” Percival’s face turned rather red. Leon and Elyan coughed and said they would take first watch.

“Gwaine.” Arthur eyed Gwaine in surprise and looked back at Percival. “Are you sure you’re thinking clearly?”

Gwaine huffed. “I’m not that bad!”

“You flirt with anything that moves.” Merlin mumbled from his position against Arthur’s chest. He’d turned around to curl in. He was barely awake but he couldn’t be bothered to move or look at anyone.

“That’s true, but I won’t when Percy’s courting me.”

“Percival.” Percival nudged Gwaine again.

Arthur stroked his fingers through Merlin’s hair. “Fine. I guess I’ll have to adjust some laws when we get home.”

Gwaine jumped up with a triumphant “Yesss!” and hauled Percival away. Presumably to talk to him.

Once Percival and Gwaine were out of earshot Merlin cracked open one eye. “He’s gone isn’t he?”

“He’ll be back from time to time.” Arthur continued to stroke Merlin’s hair.

“Thank you.” Merlin yawned and closed his eyes again.

“For what?”

“Forgiving me.”

“Oh no, Merlin I haven’t forgiven you.” Arthur smirked. “You’ll be VERY busy when we get home. Night and Day until I decide you’ve had enough. There’s a number of things that have fallen behind. My rooms are a mess. The stables will need mucking out, my armor will need a thorough cleaning and wait until you see the stack of laundry and…”

Merlin elbowed him in the rib. “How am I supposed to have energy at night with all of that?”

“Consider it punishment.”

“But I used to do that anyways for you!?!”

“You got sleep.”

“Oh.” Merlin sighed. “As you wish, sire.”

Merlin had a feeling that Arthur was going to run him into the ground the next few weeks until he finally had the anger out of his system. He didn’t mind, he could handle a few weeks of rough treatment. It was better than he deserved. At least he’d have Arthur and know that Lancelot was out there somewhere still. He owed Arthur some weeks of punishment for everything he’d put him through.

“And Merlin?” Arthur kissed the top of his head.

“Yes, Arthur?”

“Who do you love?”

“You, Arthur.”

“Don’t forget it.” And with that, Arthur settled back down, content for now. He liked having control back. Control was a wonderful thing.

THE END

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I did this fic I had in mind to keep Lancelot alive somehow and have it be like how the romance of Gwen and Lancelot was sort of. In the end he left Camelot and only returned for short periods of time. I did not like that Lancelot died. Maybe I'll do a followup. At any rate. I expected people to not like how Merlin treated Arthur but to understand Merlin's motivation: Lancelot was the only person aside from Gaius who knew about his magic and who he felt very comfortable with. Of course he wanted to save him. He never stopped loving Arthur he was just also attracted to Lancelot. He never loved him though.  
> Actually all I wanted to really do with this fic was keep Lancelot alive.  
> Maybe I'll write a sequel sometime.  
> Hope you enjoyed!


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